The Celebrity Chef 60% Of People Would Be Afraid To Serve Dinner To

How are your culinary skills? No matter what a cooking whiz you may be, it's hard to imagine a more stressful (if extremely unlikely) ordeal than having to make dinner for a celebrity chef. No, seriously: What bizarre set of circumstances would prompt this to happen? Would it be, perhaps, that their car broke down in front of your house during a blinding snowstorm so severe that all Grubhub deliveries were grounded?

Hard to imagine though this kitchen situation may be, Mashed nevertheless posed the question to 555 people all over the U.S. (a totally random sampling, or at least that was our intent) and found that, of the top chefs we named, the one that the vast majority (59.82 percent) of survey respondents would most fear having to whip up a meal for would be Gordon Ramsay. Well, duh, who'd want him pitching a fit if (when) we got nervous and burned the fish sticks (which, as fate would have it, would be the only thing edible on hand at the time he showed up)? Of course, the one upside of cooking for Ramsay would be the fact that we'd undoubtedly be treated to some pretty epic insults.

Number two, with 13.69 percent of the vote, was Martha Stewart. While Martha herself is not a chef per se, cooking is of course among her numerous domestic goddess skills, and she's known for some pretty over-the-top recipes. It's almost certain that she'll look down her nose at the contents of your pantry. (God help you if she finds any truffle oil in there!). If you happen to have any sliced American cheese on hand, though, you're in luck! Turns out Martha actually loves the stuff, so you could probably make her the most basic of grilled cheese sandwiches and she'd probably scarf it down. Either that, or she'd conduct an impromptu tutorial on how to cover it with edible gold leaf.

Oh, and be sure to lock up the good glassware when Martha's in the house, or at least don't over-serve her with the wine. (It's not like that Winking Owl's really going to be up to her standards, anyway). After all, you probably don't want her teaching the kids the fine art of stemware stacking.

Only 9.19 percent of people wouldn't mind throwing down dinner with Bobby Flay in the house. He may be kind of an arrogant jerk with a mania for winning, but as long as you're doing the cooking (which you will be, unless you pony up the $30k+ it takes to hire his services) and you make it crystal-clear that you don't consider your cooking skills to be any competition for his own, then he just may condescend to eat what you serve up without the hate he dishes out to his fellow chefs. Ina Garten would intimidate 5.23 percent –- yes, this gourmet store proprietor is unlikely to be impressed by your Aldi finds, and don't expect the sometimes Heartless Contessa to make nice with the kiddies, either.

Paula Deen, surprisingly, was last on the list, with just 4.32 percent reluctant to offer her a meal. Well, maybe it's not such a surprise. She may well manage to stick her foot in her mouth and say something rude and controversial, but then, she probably won't be any worse than your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving dinner, and you have no trouble passing him the potatoes and gravy each year. Plus, we all know how to make Paula happy with what's on her plate –- just slather it with a certain dairy product, since butter makes everything better.

"None of the above" was chosen by 7.75 percent of survey respondents. Of these voters, most either went with "all of them" or the far more confident "none of them." (Hey, what could be the worst that happens, they turn up their nose at what you serve up and go hungry? Too bad for them.) We did have one vote for Paul Hollywood, which, yes, he'd probably have some pretty high expectations for dessert. If there's anybody who doesn't like Sara Lee, Paul Hollywood would be that guy. Someone else picked the late Anthony Bourdain, while yet another opted for Julia Child –- that last pick is a bit of an eyebrow raiser, since Julia always seemed like such a sweetie! She's be nice about whatever you'd want to make her (even the fish sticks), but she probably couldn't help herself from jumping right in there and teaching you some amazing way to turn it into a gourmet masterpiece in no time flat.

One respondent with a sense of humor (we hope) replied with "Hannibal Lecter," although we're not quite sure if he qualifies as a chef with only one real dish (albeit with a number of different preparations) in his repertoire. While the fear factor with him is undeniable, at least you wouldn't have to do much work to make him a meal. What's more, he'd never criticize you for having bad taste, only for tasting bad.