The Differences Between Waffle House's Secret Menus

One thing we can count on in troubled times is that Waffle House will remain open. It will take nothing less than Doomsday itself to shut down the nation's Waffle Houses, and even as the world is ending around us, this scrappy diner chain will most likely stay open until the last star burns out. Even then, they may just have a contingency for "planet goes dark," since they seem to have one for everything else.

That's right — this restaurant is so well-known for its disaster-readiness that the Federal Emergency Management Agency has something it calls its "Waffle House Index" that's used to gauge how hard-hit a community is by any given disaster (via EHS Today). This index is color-coded, with green meaning a Waffle House is all good, red meaning that Waffle House has actually closed (which almost NEVER happens — even the huge tornado that hit Joplin, Missouri failed to shut down the city's Waffle House), and yellow indicating that the restaurant is open but offering a limited secret disaster menu.

Waffle House has four contingency menus in all, according to an Insider special report. One is used if they're operating without power, another is meant for operating without water, and two are so secret they apparently don't even have names. These no-name menus cover various semi-disaster situations and offer a somewhat wider range of options than either the no-power or no-water menus, but menu offerings may be dependent on customer volume.

So what can Waffle House serve up if the electricity's off? Not waffles, for sure, but anything that can be cooked on the gas grill is still ok — this means hash browns, eggs, and sausage are still on the menu. Also grilled sandwiches, according to Waffle House spokesperson Pat Warner, who offers up the fact that "cheeseburgers are big on the no-power menu." Fountain drinks are out, but you can still get any beverage that comes in a can. Warner did not provide any specifics as to the no-water menu, but evidently it also does not offer waffles, as that equipment requires a lot of cleaning.

It looks like, depending on the disaster, your Waffle House menu options may vary, but they'll be happy to serve you up something tasty. If you should pass by a Waffle House and there's a "closed" sign on the door, though, you better prepare to kiss your heinie goodbye, since this would mean that the End Times are upon us for sure.