How Many Calories You Are Really Eating At Five Guys

Everybody loves Five Guys, right? Its meteoric rise in popularity has this one-time small regional chain now joining the ranks of the nation's most popular fast food giants. There is, however, one group of people who might not be feeling the Five Guys love, and that would be health-conscious customers who've checked out the burger chain's nutrition data (which is conveniently listed right on the menu). 

Five Guys has even made two "worst of" lists when it comes to unhealthy fast food items: CheatSheet rated Five Guys' bacon cheeseburger as America's 8th worst fast food burger, but it might have ranked even higher had they realized the full calorie count stands at 1,060 instead of the 920 they listed (that's the calories for the bacon burger sans cheese). Reader's Digest, however, awarded Five Guys an unequivocal first place for unhealthiest fries at a belly-busting 1,314 calories (actually they're just a hair under that at 1,310 calories, according to the menu) for a large serving.

Apart from those diet-destroying bacon burgers, Five Guys also offers plain burgers at a mere 840 calories, which jumps up to 980 if you add cheese. If you've got a shred of sanity left as regards your daily recommended calorie count, you could always opt for a "little hamburger," but even this smallest and plainest of burgers packs essentially the same caloric heft as a Big Mac, coming in at 540. Even if you opt for a hot dog instead of a burger, you're not much better off there, as a plain kosher-style one is 520 calories. There is one menu entree that will set you back just 280 calories, but who goes to Five Guys to eat a veggie sandwich?

The star attraction at Five Guys may be their justifiably famous fries whose golden, crispy perfection makes them worth a splurge. Assuming you've got the self-control to resist the allure of the largest size, regular fries still pack a hefty 950 calories. 

Even the "little" size fries, at 530 calories, are more fattening than the largest size fries offered by another heavyweight in the too-tasty-to-resist french fry category — good old McDonald's. Five Guys' menu does assure us that the peanut oil in which they fry their potatoes is "cholesterol-free," so... yeah, at least there's that. Also, the cajun seasoning does not appear to add on any additional calories, but ketchup does add an additional 30 calories per serving (in case anyone's still counting).

Regular-size non-diet sodas range up to 360 calories and large ones go up to 520, but if you really want to go all-out, order a shake at 620 calories. Plus don't forget the whipped cream! Only 20 more calories. But wait, free mix-ins? Can't pass those up. Coffee only adds 5 calories, vanilla or strawberry a mere 20, and even chocolate or cherry just 40 calories. But if you want, say, an Oreo shake with both cookies (66 calories) and cream (90 calories), or you want to go full-on Elvis with bananas (30), peanut butter (90) and bacon (80) — well, you do the math. 

Looks like it all adds up to... way, way more than anybody's recommended daily calorie allowance, but then, if your love for Five Guys is so strong you're willing to break a few dietary rules, that's what stretchy pants are all about.