The Coors Light Super Bowl 2024 Slo-Mo Commercial Is Weirdly Uncomfortable

Today's Super Bowl commercials may be rather anticlimactic since, in many cases, they've been available online for a while. Such is the case with the Coors Light Chill Train ad, which came out on YouTube six days before the game. If you're a Coors commercial completist, however, you may want to take a look at the 2.0 version, which is shot in slow motion. Why would Coors Brewing do such a thing, and why should you watch? Well, the answer to the first question is that, in the full-speed version, you can't really see the faces of the people on the train. These people, all 100 of them, were chosen from among 35,000 hopefuls for a chance to appear in the commercial. Coors decided to throw them an additional bone by making a version of the ad where they — and presumably their friends and family members — would be able to see themselves and get all excited.

Okay, so it's pretty cool to get to watch a slowed-down Chill Train if you're likely to recognize any of the riders. Assuming none of your nearest and dearest are in the commercial, though, you're more likely to watch for curiosity's sake — and curious it certainly is. Downright weird, in fact, and even uncomfortable in spots. Something just doesn't add up about the two dimensional-looking faces with their frozen expressions. Instead, the math might go something like this: slow motion + odd camera angles = watch at your own peril (and preferably before consuming a significant amount of Coors Light).

Apart from LL Cool J, who plays the conductor of the Chill Train, and Lainey Wilson, who just watches the train go by, you may be wondering if there are any other celeb cameos in this Coors commercial. Well, kind of. Not the sort of A-listers that absolutely everyone is going to recognize, but if you're a fan of the following, you may have fun trying to spot Dan "Big Cat" Katz and Eric "PFT Commenter" Sollenberger from the "Pardon My Take" podcast, Fran Mariano and Ria Ciuffo from the "Chicks in the Office" podcast, and Kirk Herbstreit of "Thursday Night Football" semi-fame. (Herbstreit is the one with the cute dog at about 40 seconds in — by the way, the dog's name is Ben.)

The most recognizable face on the train is that of the Coors Light Beer Wolf, who was a mascot the company used in its ads back in the '80s. Fun fact: A 1985 ad featuring the wolf takes place on a beach and features people who magically acquire beers in their hands. Could these have been blown back in time from the silver bullet-spewing train of today?

If this gig was unpaid, then it might be hard to imagine why people would want their faces on the Coors Light Chill Train ... well, unless you're such a huge fan of the brand that you're willing to freely offer up your likeness. (To be fair, submitters couldn't have predicted that the faces on the train would come out so eerily flat.) Fortunately for the passengers, there was a monetary award involved.

Coors Light even released a YouTube video explanation of how the Coors Light Chill Train submissions would work. In this short video, it explained that people could book their seats on what looked quite literally like a typical train seating map. Coors Light took this train thing seriously. Those lucky 100 out of 35,000 people who "booked" a seat then received an official contract, referred to as the "Chill Train Talent Contract" in the video. (We can't tell if this is a serious title or not.) As part of this contract, everyone in the video received $500 as payment. Looks like they're not getting any residuals!

You may be wondering what Coors Light meant by "the Chill Train is back" in its explainer video. Back in '05, the Chill Train made its first trek across the North American continent to spread good vibes and cold beer. However, this train hadn't left the station for 12 long years up until now. If our math serves us right, this means the train was last seen in an ad sometime during 2012. Unfortunately, it seems like not even modern-day updates to CGI could make this train's passengers look more realistic. No one really asked for the train to return, but here it is again in 2024 — right in time for the big game.

Although the images of the CGI passengers may look unsettling, people seem to be pleasantly surprised with the train's return. On Coors Light's Instagram, one train enthusiast commented, "Train edit goes ridiculously hard" and another joked that "I got [about] 30 [of] these train cars lined up this weekend," referencing their resemblance to beer cans in shape. Maybe, just maybe, the Chill Train will be in service again after this Super Bowl LVIII ad!