Why Kraft Wants To Give You A 'Mayo Reading' For Mercury Retrograde

Some people tell their fortunes by reading tea leaves and coffee grounds. Others burn fresh herbs, while there are those that like using fruit like coconuts, apples, and oranges, per Keen. But for those of you who want to try something beyond the traditional, Kraft Mayonnaise is hoping you'll consider using the condiment as a mirror into your inner soul as Mercury goes into retrograde, per Food and Wine.

Science geeks will buy into the explanation that the event, which takes place four times in 2022 per Almanac, is an optical illusion that appears to show that Mercury has suddenly changed course and is tracking backward. But as far as astrology experts are concerned, because Mercury rules communication and travel, retrograde may throw things in disarray such as any and all forms of correspondence and any travel plans you might have made without checking Mercury's orbital paths first.

So where does Kraft fit into all this? The brand is offering fans a chance to keep calm and carry on: Comedian David Ebert will help them learn a bit more about themselves by doing mayo readings. As Kraft puts it, the mayo readings are a way "to smooth things over this mercury retrograde," per Twitter.

Mayo users looking to get their swipes read have been sharing their mayo photos on Twitter and TikTok, and thus far the Mayo Reader (aka David Ebert) hasn't disappointed. He notes one Twitter user is "showing signs of a scraper with a touch of single swiper (which is chaotic, bc they're generally incompatible). this means u crave status, are competitive + work hard to get what u want, yet still take time to appreciate the finer things in life (mayo, duh)." He wrote that another is a "classic thick spreader. known to be reliable, intelligent, and determined. ur spread is in exaltation, so now is the time for mayofesting. my advice: ask and u shall receive."

It appears that Kraft's Mayo Reader even has time for the competition — but just barely. When a user shared an image of two slices of bread with Duke's mayonnaise slathered on it, the Reader said, "What a pic! it's clear ur style is thick spreader, meaning ur considered tranquil as long as ur well-fed. u prob buy in bulk + are quite stubborn when it comes to what u want." He then adds, "Note: using kraft mayo might've provided a more accurate reading but i guess this works too."