Every Uncrustables Flavor Ranked Worst To Best

Uncrustables were made for sandwich lovers who view bread crust as a barrier to lunchtime excellence. When these crustless sandwiches debuted back in 1995, they were limited to frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that were meant to be eaten after six to eight hours of thawing. This thawing time frame makes Uncrustables the perfect food for parents to pack in their child's school lunchbox. 

Today, Uncrustables flavors have expanded beyond frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. These sandwiches are now available in meat-filled flavors, a chocolate-charged flavor, and even a few flavors that need to take a spin in a microwave prior to being ready to eat. That being said, the peanut butter and jelly option remains the original, iconic flavor. 

The J.M. Smucker Company, which created Uncrustables, has also given us products such as peanut butter and a number of outstanding fruit spreads. Before you go shopping for Uncrustables sandwiches for yourself or your kids, it'd be wise to familiarize yourself with the flavors so you know which ones should be avoided and which ones simply should not be missed. 

It's definitely not an overstatement to say that the Uncured Pepperoni Bites are a culinary abomination that shouldn't exist. This flavor has so many flaws that it almost shouldn't have the Uncrustables label on the package. First of all, unlike all of the original Uncrustables that were ready to eat after being thawed, this version needs to be microwaved, and this fact alone makes this flavor much less convenient.  

Once you take a bite, you'll be stunned by how unappetizing the Uncured Pepperoni Bites are from the first moment they hit your tongue. The pepperoni bites are sparse and the few that you find are practically flavorless. The marinara sauce tastes just like generic ketchup, while the mozzarella cheese flavor is nowhere to be found. Unless the idea of ketchup on top of underwhelming pepperoni sounds good to you, you should stay as far away as humanly possible from this disaster.

The good news is that the Uncured Ham & Cheddar Cheese Roll-Ups don't need to be microwaved since they're of the thaw-and-eat variety. The bad news is that this Uncrustables flavor tastes like a food experiment gone so wrong that it deserves a one-way ticket to the nearest garbage can.

The overarching problem is the bread that dominates the action. That alone wouldn't be too huge of an issue if the bread was good but this bread is simply gross. In fact, it tastes more like raw, undercooked dough than real, genuine bread. The doughy, mushy texture is quite off-putting. 

Though this flavor is supposed to feature cheddar cheese and slices of ham, you will struggle to taste anything beyond the dough-like bread. As it turns out, the Uncured Ham & Cheddar Cheese Roll-Ups actually taste a little bit better if you ignore the instructions and pop them into the microwave for about 30 seconds. They're still bad, mind you, but warming them up makes them slightly more edible.

If you ate Uncrustables when you were growing up, you undoubtedly remember the Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Sandwich. Once upon a time, this flavor used to be spectacular. It was a beloved part of many lunchboxes. Tragically, if nostalgia causes you to purchase this flavor, you will be wholeheartedly disappointed.

It won't be long before you recognize that the grape jelly doesn't taste the same anymore. Back in the good old days, the peanut butter and the jelly in the flavor came together in the form of an unbeatable duo. But nowadays, the grape jelly is way too sweet and way too plentiful, while the peanut butter has no choice but to take a back seat. 

Lil Yachty's Uncrustables strategy to avoid the excess grape jelly is to eat around the edges and throw away the middle. While this might work, it's both cumbersome and wasteful. Instead of going to those lengths, just pick a different flavor. 

If you have really low expectations, you might be able to avoid gagging while eating the Taco Bites. Unfortunately, there are no redeeming qualities to this flavor. When the Taco Bites were released, the internet erupted with scores upon scores of people talking about how much they hate this Uncrustables flavor. Given these reactions and the terrible taste of this flavor, there's simply no way this stuff is worthy of your time or money. 

It should be obvious that you're not going to find an authentic Mexican meal inside of an Uncrustables sandwich. That being said, you'd hope for something better than a few crumbles of ground beef, a light sprinkling of taco seasoning, a minuscule amount of cheese, and a salsa that is so mild that it doesn't even deserve to be described as a salsa. Like the aforementioned Uncured Pepperoni Bites, the Taco Bites need to be heated in a microwave, which only further adds to the anguish of an already unpleasant flavor. 

If you're always on the lookout for healthier food options, you may be tempted to purchase the Peanut Butter & Strawberry Spread Sandwich on Wheat. Not only do these sandwiches use wheat bread, as their name suggests, but the strawberry spread also has a reduced amount of sugar. While the wheat bread is just as yummy as the original white bread, it's the muted strawberry spread that will cause you to shake your head in dismay.

Jams, jellies, and spreads with reduced sugar can be just as delicious as their full-sugar alternatives. Sadly, that's just not the case in this instance. The reduced sugar results in reduced fun and reduced excitement. Not only will your sweet tooth be angry with your decision, but this version of the strawberry spread is also missing the slightly tart aftertaste that makes the regular strawberry jelly so special. Saving your body from a few grams of added sugar just isn't worth the culinary disappointment of this flavor. 

Turkey and Colby Jack Cheese Roll-Ups are worthy of your wallet and your tastebuds. This flavor is far from the cream of the crop but eating it won't cause you to feel any regret. The smoked turkey breast in this flavor is as unremarkable as the ham in the Uncured Ham and Cheddar Cheese Roll-Ups; however, the cheese in these Turkey and Colby Jack Cheese Roll-Ups really saves the day.

Each roll-up contains three different types of cheese; Monterey Jack, Colby, and Neufchatel. You'll be blown away by how scrumptious all three kinds of cheese taste in one rolled-up mouthful of this flavor. Neufchatel is the best tasting of the three: If you've never eaten this type of cheese, you'll enjoy its mild initial flavor and the subtle yet unmistakable tanginess that powers its aftertaste. This cheese has a soft, creamy texture that adds to the magic.

Strangely enough, the Peanut Butter & Grape Spread Sandwich on Wheat is much better than the original Peanut Butter and Grape Jelly Sandwich. How can the healthier flavor option on wheat bread be so much more delectable? It all comes down to the grape filling. This grape spread, with its reduced amount of sugar, is actually a lot tastier than the original. 

The original version's grape jelly is way too sweet, so lowering the sugar is a step in the right direction as it allows the peanut butter to be on equal footing with the jelly, which allows this combination to really shine. The wheat bread actually adds a surprisingly interesting texture that is both nourishing and satisfying. If you're looking to relive the thaw-and-eat lunches that you may have loved during your childhood, and you prefer grape jelly over strawberry jelly, then this is the Uncrustables variety for you. 

If you're intrigued by the roll-ups made by Smacker's, make your you try the Uncured Pepperoni Roll-Ups. While this flavor is not quite in the upper echelon of Uncrustables options, it's still quite delicious and will give you multiple reasons to be thrilled. 

First, this flavor has a sufficient amount of pepperoni and the meat itself is bursting with flavor. Secondly, these roll-ups contain both provolone and Neufchatel, which are two of the best cheeses you will find inside an Uncrustables product, and the overall taste is fantastic. 

Lovers of Totino's Pizza Rolls will also enjoy these Uncured Pepperoni Roll-Ups Uncrustables, although, unlike Totino's Pizza Rolls, these Uncrustrables don't contain any pizza sauce. These roll-ups make for an incredible snack or lunchtime treat. Additionally, since these Uncrustables don't need to be heated up, they're a lot more convenient and a lot more portable than other flavor options that need to be microwaved.

While two out of the three heat-and-eat Uncrustables (Uncured Pepperoni Bites and Taco Bites) are completely forgettable and will never deserve a spot in your shopping cart, the BBQ Chicken Bites Uncrustables are surprisingly splendid. If you find yourself with a serving of these bites and have a microwave handy, these things are definitely worth considering. After a minute in the microwave, your taste buds will give these barbecue-powered sandwiches two thumbs up.

The white meat chicken is plentiful and it's so soft that it practically melts in your mouth. While there are a few fatty pieces, they add enough flavor without being too overpowering. The highlight of the BBQ Chicken Bites is the barbecue sauce. The flavor of the sauce has a stunning amount of depth. It's so yummy that it's comparable to the best grocery store barbecue sauce that you can find. You'll eat every last crumb of the bread that holds these sandwiches together just to ensure that you don't miss a drop of the sauce.

If you've ever reveled in the awesomeness of Nutella, then you know exactly what to expect from the Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread Sandwich. While diehard Nutella fans won't want to hear it, the spread inside of these sandwiches might even be superior to real Nutella. In fact, the filling in these Uncrustables is so rich that you'll want to eat it slowly to make sure that your senses don't get overloaded with chocolatey goodness. Having a tall glass of milk at your side is also a good idea, especially for Nutella newbies.

There's no jelly, jam, or anything else in the Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread Uncrustables to distract you from the Nutella-like filling. Previously, Uncrustables had a similarly jelly-free product that featured only peanut butter: Regrettably, the peanut butter sandwich was later discontinued. Let's hope that this glorious hazelnut spread flavor doesn't suffer a similar fate.

The Peanut Butter & Honey Spread Sandwich flavor is truly delicious: Even if you don't normally put honey on your homemade peanut butter sandwiches, give these Uncrustables a try. The honey is amazingly smooth and its presence gives the bread a slight crispness that enhances the texture of the sandwich. Plus, unlike a couple of the jelly-filled flavors, the amount of sugar in this product is well balanced, making sure that your sweet tooth is ecstatic and the peanut butter still has room to shine.

If you're a peanut butter and jelly purist, you might hesitate to consider honey as an alternative. However, it'd be unwise to be that hardheaded. The great Elvis Presley used to eat fried peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches, so this Uncrustables flavor is a step in the exciting, innovative flavor-combo direction. Just one bite and you're practically guaranteed to adore these Uncrustables. 

When only the best of the best Uncrustables flavor will do, go ahead and reach for the classic Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam flavor. This sandwich is a perfectly balanced combination that has a tried-and-true flavor that everyone will enjoy. Whether you're shopping for the best flavor for yourself, a child, or a group of adults, this product is virtually guaranteed to succeed.

While the reduced sugar strawberry spread is a bust, this strawberry jam is a big-time winner. The sweetness level is marvelous, the strawberry flavor is authentic, and the slightly tangy aftertaste will keep you coming back for more. The peanut butter flavor goes incredibly well with the jelly. This is a combo that could have only been conceived in culinary heaven. Whether you're new to the world of Uncrustables or you've been a fan from day one, this is the go-to flavor when you want to experience a taste of Uncrustables perfection.