The Concerning Reason Lucky Charms Cereal Is Being Investigated By The FDA

The shadowy puppeteers behind Big Cereal are pulling at strings again, only this time it's not a wascally wabbit or a senile baker they are trying to hide behind the curtain. Something far more serious is afoot at General Mills, and (tragically, given the recent St. Patrick's Day holiday) this time around, it's a leprechaun who's taking heavy fire for an unusual occurrence...

That's right, the mad green hatter behind Lucky Charms is probably feeling neither lucky nor charming this week after allegations surfaced that his breakfast cereal — the one with seemingly innocuous marshmallow hearts, clovers, and moons — has been making people sick. According to Food Safety News, hundreds of consumers have registered complaints of gastrointestinal issues with IWasPoisoned.com recently — complaints that they claim began only after they ate a bowl of Lucky Charms. The Food and Drug Administration is looking into the matter, but the damage may have already been done. Leprechauns aren't exactly known for their trustworthiness to begin with, what with their tricking innocent civilians and hiding pots of gold all over the place. These recent accusations — with Lucky Charms consumers complaining about everything from nausea to vomiting and diarrhea — certainly won't improve their standing in the fairytale community.

Though leprechauns the world over do tend to be mischief makers, Lucky, the General Mills leprechaun, has been notoriously paranoid for years, insisting time and again that people are always after his Lucky Charms. Perhaps, given recent allegations, Lucky's paranoia is more well-founded than anyone previously understood. TODAY reports that while the FDA may be investigating food poisoning claims, General Mills certainly isn't ready to cop to any wrongdoing. "We take the consumer concerns reported via a third-party website very seriously," a spokesperson told the outlet. "After a thorough internal investigation, we have not found any evidence that these complaints are attributed to our products."

The FDA seems equally unperturbed, pointing out that there have only been 41 submissions to their "Adverse Event Reporting System" (a name way less exciting than IWasPoisoned.com, for the record) since 2014 that link to Lucky Charms, and only one report in all of last year that appeared to be related to the website complaints. At the time of this writing, there has been no official recall of the cereal, TODAY Food says, but that hasn't stopped more than 100 consumers and counting from logging on and relaying gross stories on IWasPoisoned.com. So, where does that leave Lucky? Was he duped by Big Cereal, or attempting to protect a clueless public by hiding his Lucky Charms whenever possible? The world will have to wait, watch, and perhaps switch to porridge for a little while.