Heart Attack Grill Menu Items, Ranked Worst To Best

Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, NV is the stuff urban legends are made of (via Heart Attack Grill). Diners who weigh over 350 pounds eat free. Vegans won't have much luck here — even the fries are cooked in lard. If you don't finish your meal, you're at the mercy of the nurses who are actually servers dressed up in nurse attire — they won't let you leave without first enduring a very public spanking. 

If you do stop by this medically-themed Las Vegas eatery, be prepared for every aspect of the restaurant to urge you to disregard your health. The burgers range in size from one patty to eight and of course, they are named after the process you might need if you eat too many — Bypass Burgers. The menu includes unfiltered cigarettes, and people have actually had heart attacks at the restaurant. Before you're seated at your table, you'll be given a hospital gown to wear during your meal.

It's still up for debate if the Heart Attack Grill is genius or over-the-top kitschy. But if you're curious about visiting, we've rated their menu items from worst to best.

Meet the eight-patty Octuple Bypass. According to The Burger Reviews, this monstrosity clocks in at 1.5 feet tall, weighs 4 pounds, and is a whopping 20,000 calories. If you feel inclined, you can also add bacon to each layer (40 slices in total) to increase the calories even more. 

Needless to say, this is too much. Of course, it's fun to fantasize about eating a burger of this magnitude but is it possible for one person to eat this in one sitting? For competitive eater Matt Stonie, it was no problem. He ate this burger in just 4 minutes and 10 seconds, according to Vital Vegas. 

But how does a burger with eight patties taste? Well just like a burger with one patty ... just intensified. It might be a lot of fun to dig into with friends but these burgers are not meant to be ordered and shared amongst the table. In fact, there is a rule printed on the menu forbidding it.

One Yelp reviewer described the burgers as a "salt bomb." The same reviewer said the cooking technique on the patties could use some work as well, writing, "They were cooked well done, but surprisingly didn't have a good sear."  If you have a desire to drum up a lot of attention — the restaurant cheers when an octuple bypass comes out of the kitchen — go for it. But if you're craving a really good, big burger, you can skip this.

One Yelp reviewer wasn't too pleased that Heart Attack Grill doesn't offer much flexibility for burger doneness. They said, "They only offer well-done burgers. You heard me. They only cook the burgers one way! You cannot order your burger at any other temperature. Okay, the well-done burger is dry, dry. There is nothing really good about this burger. You are paying more for an experience."

Another thing to remember about Heart Attack Grill burgers is that all of the other refreshing components that are included in your favorite fast-food burger—lettuce, pickles, mayo—are nowhere to be found on Heart Attack Grill burgers, making their more voluminous burgers taste even more over-the-top dry. Paired with the well-done meat, eating seven patties on his Septuple Bypass Burger from Heart Attack Grill seems pretty unpalatable. You will go for the experience and maybe the challenge but not for the flavor, so we're rating the seven-patty burger pretty low on our list.

Less is definitely more when it comes to burgers. If we're speaking in terms of pure gluttony, six patties is not much better than seven. So if you're someone who likes to go against the grain or prove someone else wrong, then you may want to try your chance at Heart Attack Grill's Sextuple Bypass Burger. But if you're just a run-of-the-mill burger lover looking for a deliciously exciting burger, keep looking.

Six half-pound patties on one bun doesn't leave much room for practicality, but does that even matter if you're eating a burger called the Sextuple Bypass? This burger falls into the same traps as the other larger burgers — not enough sauce, too much dry meat and overall, too salty. It's large for the sake of being large, not because more patties bring more flavor. Order this for shock value or because you want a spanking from the nurses, because there's no way you'll order this just for sheer enjoyment.

"I could make this burger more delicious by adding spices to the burger," is a quote that fully sums up the experience of Heart Attack Grill's burgers. This was a comment from one Yelp reviewer about the Quintuple Bypass burger and it seems to be a universal thought that the burgers are missing something very important.

The chili should add a kick, some interest, some sauciness, and moisture ... but sadly, it does not. He also goes on to say, "I almost killed a quintuple myself if I didn't eat a big meal the night before." Let this be a warning that you will need to prepare to step foot into Heart Attack Grill. You will need to work out your stomach and prepare your mind before you can expect to eat a five-patty burger or as Heart Attack Grill calls it, the Quintuple Bypass Burger. You could eat this entire burger if you feel motivated, but our suggestion is to subtract one patty from whatever you think you can reasonably eat and order that. That way you can avoid being paddled.

At Heart Attack Grill the fries are deep fried in lard. Would you expect anything less? They are shoestring fries, and because of the lard, they're oily but no more than the average fry. They have a bit of crispness to them, thanks yet again, to the lard. One Yelp reviewer says they're similar to McDonald's fries, so you can expect a thin and crunchy fry when you order them plain. They are tasty enough but nothing spectacular and you may need to add some salt.

If, however, you order them topped with chili and cheese or chili, cheese, and bacon, they'll lose a little bit of structure. Burger Voice says the fries topped with chili and cheese certainly came out of the kitchen looking tempting, but the texture fell flat shortly after arriving at the table. "The fries looked delicious but were very soggy and not good after 2 minutes," they said. This is a matter of preference, of course, because soggy fries are the perfect fries to eat with a fork. But the reason these don't get a higher position is because the chili doesn't boost their flavor. The chili had an odd flavor to it for many reviewers. One Yelp reviewer was able to pinpoint the exact reason the chili gets a downvote: "the lard flavor in the chili leaves a strange feeling in the mouth".

When a hot dog is made well, there's little that can top it. From the soft bun to the crisp skin to the toppings, it just screams summertime indulgence. Heart Attack Grill tried their hand at one of America's favorite snacks, and like everything they serve up, the hot dog is larger than life. One Yelp reviewer said, "Beware the hotdog is NOT a smaller portion option, this is the largest hotdog I have ever seen!" So if you thinking of ordering an item that has a more reasonable portion size think again, because the half-pound Coronary Dog is far from reasonable.

As with Heart Attack Grill's burgers, you have the option to top your hotdog with chili, cheese, and/or bacon, as well. 

But unfortunately, Heart Attack Grill has overdone it on the salt this time. "I got the hotdog as well which was massive, but EXTREMELY salty. I love salty foods; but by the end of the hot dog, it was too much. The cheese that was being used (kraft singles) was nasty," said one Trip Advisor reviewer. The hot dog buns are also plain and dry. There are no frills here, so don't expect any sort of artisanal sauce to bring balance and moisture. Overall, it's not bad, but it's just a really big hot dog.

Here's where the burgers start to get more interesting. In 2012, this burger made Guinness World Record history as the most calorific burger commercially available with its very own page on the Guinness World Records website. It is indeed 9,982 calories and the goal is for diners to finish it in one sitting (but just in case you can't, the "nurses" are fully prepared to dole out spankings). It's not clear why the larger five, six, seven, and eight-patty burgers have not made the Guinness Book of World Records, but perhaps they haven't been submitted.

Four patties is still probably too much food for the average person to comfortably consume, but its completion is more attainable than Heart Attack Grill's other options. Hopefully the cheese is melty because it has been hit or miss for some customers (via Yelp). If you're feeling up for it, you can always add on some optional bacon slices — 20 to be exact. The burger is a hair above average, but not outstanding. If you go with the intention to have a great time and stuff yourself silly, you will probably enjoy the quadruple.

Three half-pound beef patties is just the right size to hold in your hand and actually take a bit out of. This is probably the largest of the Heart Attack burgers that can make the claim of being handheld, and isn't that what burgers are all about? Holding it in both hands and getting that bite of beef and all of the toppings? Heart Attack Grill's Triple Bypass Burger is good enough that you will want to do just that.

With three half-pound patties, the burger meat maintains some balance with the bun. Because of this balance, along with the gooey, melty cheese, the burger is not totally dry as some of the larger ones are. Each burger comes topped with chili, onion, tomato, and cheese, but bacon, as always, is an option for a little extra cash. If you do order bacon on the Triple Bypass burger, you'll get 15 slices.

One satisfied fan on Instagram describes the Triple Bypass Burger as "seriously one of the best burgers I've ever had". This is a nice dose of filling, flavor, and fun, but for us, the ratio between meat, bun, and toppings could still be improved.

Heart Attack Grill's Single Bypass Burger is for the timid who don't want to tackle the larger burgers. It's also the purest expression of the burger and the best way to really taste just how good (or bad) of a burger the Heart Attack Grill can make. The good news is that it's a decent burger. As mentioned previously, there's no requesting doneness, so if you're a lover of rare burgers, you're out of luck.

One Yelp reviewer was pleased with one of the most important components of the burger, "The bun wasn't hard and stone, it was incredibly soft ... The bun held up through and through. The flavor was different, in a good way." The salt to meat ratio is perfect in the Single Bypass Burger because there's just one half-pound patty on a bun. It's a good starting point for the rest of the menu and also just the right size to pair with sides.

Yet another Heart Attack Grill menu item deep-fried in pure lard is the onion rings. If you plan to order these, expect a portion large enough to feed three or four diners. They're absolutely delicious and crisped to perfection. They're not dripping in grease like you might expect from a product cooked in lard. Instead, they're golden and crunchy with sweet onion on the inside. If you've ever had ill-prepared onion rings, then you know how important the filling is. We hate biting into a too-firm onion only to have the breading fall off. The onion inside is cooked wonderfully and has a little bite while also being soft enough to be enjoyable.

One Yelp reviewer said, "The onion rings are not to be missed." If you have to choose between the fries and the onion rings, do yourself a favor and order the onion rings. You'll be so happy you did.

The larger format burgers are a bit overwhelming. They're too much of a good thing, but the smaller format burgers (two patties and under) are a more realistic way to approach a Heart Attack Grill burger. The Double Bypass Burger is perhaps the perfect balance between extreme and realistic. It includes two patties with your choice of chili, cheese, and/or bacon.

There's less topple risk with the smaller burgers so you'll be able to manage this and also take a solid bite. Mini Adventures gave it a try and reported that it's a "juicy and well-constructed burger" with nicely melted cheese. If the meat is the main star, then the bun is the most important supporting castmember of a burger. And the bun of the double stayed in one piece and held up against the chili and the grease from the two patties.

One Yelp reviewer who had the double burger described the food as "nothing life-changing or out of the ordinary but we all had a great time and funny new memories". At the Heart Attack Grill, you come for the burgers and stay for the experience.

We know that the star of a burger joint should be the burgers, but we just couldn't waste this opportunity to highlight the deliciousness that is Heart Attack Grill's Butterfat Milkshake. They come in either chocolate or vanilla and can be topped with whipped cream vodka (via Vegas Foood and Fun). These regular-looking milkshakes are actually butterfat shakes and to highlight that fact, there is an entire pat of butter sitting right atop your shake. Butterfat, according to Nellie's Free Range, is the fat that's in cream. It adds flavor, texture, and color to butter. Needless, to say it is rather rich and any shake made with butterfat will also be rich and creamy. 

Besides flavor, we love the shake because it's the perfect option if you don't want to commit to an entire sit-down meal. You can order a shake to go and still get a feel for the vibe of Heart Attack Grill. And if you're up for the challenge, you can always order it as an add-on to your Octuple Burger and lard fries.