Food You Should Never Buy At 7-Eleven

It doesn't matter if you live in the heart of Manhattan or the heartland, if you're hungry at 2 a.m., a certain convenience store is always there for you, no matter what. If you're lucky like I am, that place is Wawa, a glorious gas station that makes fresh, made-to-order sandwiches at all hours of the day. Unfortunately, Wawa is currently an East Coast-only late night convenience store destination, so if there isn't one close by and you aren't willing to go all Harold and Kumar and road trip to one, your local 7-Eleven can provide you with some decent after-midnight nourishment. True, some food choices there are at least passable, but not everything they serve is a good choice. In fact, there are some items you should definitely avoid — and we get the sad duty of telling you what they are. We're not here to give you orders, but consider yourself warned... and purchase these foods at your own risk.

When you think of 7-Eleven, the first thing that comes to mind is the Slurpee. It's the one item that separates 7-Eleven from its convenience store competition. The Slurpee, which got its name from the sound it makes when you suck it through a straw, has been a 7-Eleven mainstay since 1966. It comes in dozens of flavors, from the fan-favorite Coca-Cola to bizarre concoctions like Faygo Cotton Candy, but you should think twice before you grab a cup and pull on the lever of your local 7-Eleven's Slurpee machine.

You're probably aware that a Slurpee isn't exactly in the same league as a superfood smoothie, but these airy and frozen treats are calorie and sugar bombs. According to Reader's Digest, a 44-ounce Dr Pepper Slurpee contains a whopping 825 calories. Slurpees are also loaded with preservatives and caffeine, and the machines are said to have plenty of mold in them.

Even if you're oddly curious about its new breakfast pizza combining eggs, cheese, breakfast sausage, ham, and cream gravy all on a biscuit-like crust, there are much better options to tame your pizza cravings. The folks over at Brand Eating think 7-Eleven's pepperoni pizza "looks a bit like a Little Caesars pizza and falls somewhere between pizza chain pizza and frozen pizza."

In my opinion, that's a little too harsh to Little Caesars and a little too nice to 7-Eleven. Remember school cafeteria pizza? It's like that, only saucier and saltier. If it's after hours and you have the willpower to wait and/or cook your own, you're better off buying an overpriced "gourmet" pizza in the freezer section at 7-Eleven and heating it up at home.

The 7-Select burritos are like Tina's, but without the name recognition or the taste of after-school snack nostalgia. And there's more shame attached to them. 7-Select Burritos are in the freezer section so in order to have one hot and ready, you'll have to use the in-store microwave and ask yourself a series of questions. Have you ever used a microwave in a gas station before? Are you really willing to cook something using the microwave of a convenience store? What are the chances it'll still be frozen in the center when you bite into it?

No surprise, these pejoratively named "ghetto burritos" are a health nut's worst nightmare, perhaps unless you're a fan of late-night bike rides after chowing down on a beef, bean and green chili burrito? According to Nutritionx, you'd need to bike for 100 minutes at a pace of 10 mph to burn off the 720 calories in this frozen monstrosity.

I'm perfectly fine with occasionally overindulging on things that could potentially shorten my life span, but only if they taste delicious. 7-Select burritos are not even close to being tasty. The burritos are extremely inexpensive (usually under $1.00), but it's better to get a bean and cheese burrito at Taco Bell and load up on the fire sauce than to nosh on 7-Eleven's private-label, tasteless grub.

When 7-Eleven launched Doritos Loaded back in 2014, it was trying to change the game when it came to cheesy, portable snacks, even going as far as calling them "inside-out nachos." Piggybacking on the success of Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Taco, which, let's be honest here, is absolutely delicious and one of my guilty pleasures when it comes to fast food, 7-Eleven's senior vice president of merchandising, Nancy Smith declared Doritos Loaded was one of the biggest product roll-outs in the company's history. Unfortunately for 7-Eleven, a big ad campaign and social media exposure doesn't usually save a product that tastes like garbage. Kevin Pang of the Chicago Tribune described Doritos Loaded as "the edible equivalent of the online clickbait, a misleading headline that tricks gullible Americans with enticing buzzwords (Doritos, warm cheese), then delivers on an unsatisfying-something-else altogether."

Despite Pang being absolutely correct, 7-Eleven and Frito-Lay felt the urge to bring Doritos Loaded to your local Walmart's freezer section if you want to enjoy gas station frankenfoods in the comfort of your own home.

Trying to eliminate its image of being a place to score malt liquor, loose cigarettes, and a hot dog, 7-Eleven began to roll out a large menu of healthier options in 2012, like freshly made sandwiches. Unfortunately, the sandwiches are a complete bust. You know the diagonal-cut, white bread lunches from your childhood? That's what these are, but they aren't made with love. They're made in a factory somewhere where an overworked and underpaid 7-Eleven employee slathers tons of mayonnaise in between two pieces of soft bread that's surely a soggy mess before it's even jammed in that cute little plastic container.

YouTuber Shane Dawson described in graphic, NSFW detail what it's like to eat the worst sandwich in the Fresh to Go lineup: tuna salad. Just listening to him will have you swear off even homemade tuna sandwiches for at least a couple of months. Besides the obviously not-so-fresh nature of the Fresh To Go sandwiches, they're simply not a great bang for your buck. The now infamous tuna salad sandwich costs around $4. It might be the "healthier" option, but your money can go further if you purchase something else from 7-Eleven.

I love Buffalo chicken. To me, Buffalo chicken is the perfect food. It's checks off all of the boxes I look for to tantalize my taste buds. Spicy, meaty, and something that pairs well with both blue cheese and ranch dressing. The Buffalo chicken roller isn't offered at all 7-Eleven locations, but just in case it's at a store near you, avoid it. It did not pass this Buffalo chicken aficionado's taste test. Described by Brand Eating as a gigantic Burger King chicken fry, the Buffalo chicken roller is like a spicy chicken fry but much drier and denser. It could definitely use some more heat as well.

It won't wreck your day if you're counting calories (it only has 190), but it's extremely processed (a Buffalo chicken roller does not appear in nature) and loaded with sodium. If you do want Buffalo chicken and you don't mind throwing away the bones, 7-Eleven actually has pretty decent Buffalo chicken wings, and unlike the Buffalo chicken roller, most 7-Eleven locations always carry them.

Like the Slurpee, the Big Gulp is another product that 7-Eleven is known for. According to the company's corporate website, the convenience store chain sells an astonishing 45 million gallons of fountain soda a year. That's enough soda to properly fill 68 Olympic-sized swimming pools. If you're looking for more soda for your money, getting a fountain drink is certainly the way to go (unless you live in a place like Philadelphia where soda is taxed by the ounce), but how often do you think the machines are cleaned? Like Slurpee machines, fountain soda dispensers are breeding grounds for mold and all sorts of nasty creatures.

I don't consider myself a traditionalist, but I do prefer my cheeseburgers to look like cheeseburgers and my hot dogs to look like hot dogs. 7-Eleven decided to flip the script by making a hamburger in a tubular shape, sticking it in a hot dog bun, and calling it the Cheeseburger Big Bite. The novelty certainly wears off after one bite and the taste has been compared to something from a hospital vending machine. At $1.99, you can grab a more traditional and tastier cheeseburger pretty much anywhere else for the same price or even cheaper.

The taquitos at 7-Eleven are almost as ubiquitous as the Big Bite hot dogs. They do share some prime real estate with each other, but unlike the hot dogs (which are better than overpriced stadium franks), the taquitos can't be saved with the free condiments 7-Eleven likes to spoil you with. The Monterey Jack and chicken taquito will make you wonder if the chicken escaped the taquito before it got stuck underneath the heat lamp. The cheese is just ... there. That's it. There's no flavor, just the idea that there's a pasteurized melted cheese product inside a limp fried tortilla.

The sad part about the taquitos is that one isn't enough to be considered a meal, yet there's so much sodium in them (about 780 milligrams) that having just one could induce "meat sweats" even though there's hardly any meat in them.

The worst thing that 7-Eleven has to offer is lurking in the beer case, and you probably had no idea it was even there. Game Day Ice and its partner in crime, Game Day Light, are two bottom-shelf beers produced specifically for 7-Eleven. They make Natural Ice and Natural Light look like they're too good for a red Solo cup.

Currently on Beer Advocate, Game Day Ice has a solid 54/100 rating with Game Day Light doing a bit better at 62/100. Even for someone who is used to drinking beer that stings the throat (I'm looking at you, Steel Reserve), Game Day Ice is simply too harsh to chug. "You don't have to chug all beer," you're thinking. Let's be real here — these are chugging beers, not admire-their-lacing-in-nonic-glasses beers. If you show up to an actual game day party with some version of Game Day Ice or Game Day Light, just be aware that you might not be invited back. Unlike its Slurpees, 7-Eleven doesn't actually make its own beer. It's brewed by City Brewing Co., which specializes in producing bottom-shelf brews.