Duff Goldman's Response To This Strange Donut Question

If anyone's got questions today, pastry chef Duff Goldman is doling out answers, kind of like Wendy's gives out free Frostys. The pastry chef came to the aid of a Tweeter slogging through a slow workday by engaging in a heated discussion about the true nature of a donut (via Twitter).

"He says a donut must be round and have the center punched out," tweeted the donut debater. "I say if you can get it in a dozen donuts, it's a donut. What does the Master say?" Before we go any further, Goldman isn't really a donut maker. He bakes mostly cakes  –  delicious, perfect, elaborately decorated cakes, as a trip through his Instagram will tell you. The "Ace of Cakes" star is, however, a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America and has come up with a recipe for blueberry cake donuts (via Food Network). Take his expertise, or leave it. In any case, Goldman was more than glad to offer it up.  

There's a two part-premise to the question at hand: first, do donuts need holes? Second, does a donut's identity depend on it being sold by the dozen? Duff Goldman only offered up resolution for the first. "Boston Cream ain't got no hole. Maple Bacon Long John ain't got no hole. Cruller ain't got no hole," the celebrity cake maker tweeted. "Churro ain't got no hole and it ain't round. Your friend is, respectfully, mistaken." 

If Goldman declined to comment on the second premise, he offered up a consolation prize: the answers to some of the most hotly debated food controversies of the era. "PS- hotdogs are sandwiches," Goldman wrote. The "Buddy vs. Duff" star didn't stop there. "PPS- Cereal is soup," he continued. (We'll give you a hot second to take that in, because Goldman isn't done blowing your mind yet.) " PPPS- Sunny D is GROSS," Goldman concluded his answer-bordering-on-diatribe. Don't shoot the messenger.