Popular Five Guys Menu Items, Ranked Worst To Best

When Five Guys founder Jerry Murrell was young, he had options. Learn to "give a good haircut," "serve a good drink at a bar," or fry up a tasty burger, his mom told him, according to Five Guys. As long as you can do one of the three, she attested, you'll always have an income in America. Murrell took the advice to heart, and also carried it on to the next generation. When his own five sons began considering careers, he presented them with two possible paths: start a business or go to college. The boys banded together and began their enterprise in a field that, according to their grandma, would guarantee income. That is, they got really good at serving burgers. 

Before long, the infectious Five Guys flavor franchised all over the country and, now, internationally. Today, there are so many different menu items to choose from, it's hard to know where to begin when simply scrolling through Seamless. 

In an effort to solve that problem, we thought it was about time to take a hard look at the most popular menu items and pit them against each other. What is the best thing on the Five Guys menu, after all? Come on this greasy, peanut-oil-infused journey with us to find out.

We anticipate getting some blowback by putting the Five Guys grilled cheese in the last place. The sandwich has a legitimate cult following amongst Five Guys fans. But after tasting it, we couldn't help but wonder which higher power that cult is loyal to. Is it the cheese? The insanely sweet, overly thick slabs of American cheese that are piled between toasts here hardly seem worthy of worship. Is it the bread? This well-oiled toast is good, sure, but definitely not the stuff of legend.

Of course, it could just be the simple yet profound combination of cheese and bread that gets fans so excited for Five Guys grilled cheese. However, if you're looking to indulge in cheese and bread, there are other, more rewarding ways to invest those calories. Pull up another fast food delivery on your app instead and snag a cheesy bread or even mozzarella sticks. Speaking as fast food connoisseurs, we can promise that there are better cheap cheeses out there.  

So, we kind of hate to do this. Five Guys is an all-American bastion of fast food, while the hot dog is an unquestionably American meal in its own right. So, did Five Guys nail the plain dog as best they could? Yes. But is it enough to hold up against the rest of their menu? Not quite. 

Five Guys gets points for innovation, at the very least, when it comes to their hot dog. Instead of cooking it in classic fashion as a round slab of meat, they slice theirs down the middle before throwing it on the grill. According to the menu, this makes for a "caramelized exterior." We agree, as one look at the finished hot dog will confirm. The dog is definitely more flavorful (not to mention simply easier to eat) because it's in halves, too. But even that slightly modified take on the all-American staple isn't enough to make up for the fact that the bun was barely grilled, no part of the meal was seasoned, and at the end of the day, it's still just a plain hot dog. 

Oh, Five Guys. Why must you use such cheap, sticky, neon orange-looking cheese? This cheese dog could have been great if it weren't for the fact that the layer of cheese is a particularly unnatural variation of American cheese. That alone negates the other potential positives of this menu item. 

Five Guys' hot dog style — sliced in half and then grilled — bodes well for a cheese dog. Really well, in fact. The cheese melts beautifully over the dog, pooling at its center between the halves and filling the space between hot dog and the bun. It makes for a bite that is more "hot dog and cheese sandwich" than traditional cheese dog and, in theory, we're fans of that. In execution, however, because of the unfortunate aforementioned cheese choice, the flavor combination is simply not worth treating yourself to. Because it at least has multiple flavors, the cheese dog is still an upgrade from the plain hot dog, but just barely. 

The veggie sandwich served up at Five Guys is downright divisive. On one side of the aisle are those who like mushrooms. On the other are those who are staunchly anti-fungus and want no such thing on their sandwich. 

When the veggie sandwich was delivered, it was falling apart. The bottom half of the bun was so soggy beneath the stack of vegetables that it could not hold them together. It was so unsteady that, when we tried to pick this up to taste-test it, not all sandwich components made it from the table to our mouths. The diverse creation is piled with freshly grilled onions, mushrooms, green peppers, lettuce, and tomatoes, and we added pickles for a bit of an acidic zing. Overall, the pickles ended up dominating the flavor profile, which is probably less of a testament to the add-on and more just an indicator of how bland the rest of the vegetables on the sandwich proved to be.

But that being said, we did find this option refreshing and (for reasons that are readily evident) more healthy tasting than the rest of the menu. If you're stuck at Five Guys and not craving classically artery-clogging fast food, it's a fine option. But if you don't like mushrooms, skip it no matter how you're feeling. While the mushroom taste was barely noticeable while actually eating, they are frighteningly apparent when just looking at the sandwich.

With their bacon dog, Five Guys inches ever closer to solving the issues their plain dog and cheese dog encounter. Finally, this is a menu item that has some real dimension. The soft hot dog meat juxtaposes nicely with the crispy bacon, giving the dog more oomph overall and making each bite just a little bit more interesting. Plus, just in general, Five Guys seems to have mastered the bacon game. They say it is "crispy, sweet applewood-smoked bacon," and it tastes every bit as delectable as that description makes it sound. 

We think the peanut oil plays a larger role here than the restaurant gives it credit for, too. The high smoke point of the peanut oil is probably completely conducive to sizzling up slices of bacon, and you can definitely detect subtle notes of peanut oil flavor on these slices. All told, this bacon dog trumps two out of three of its hot dog competitors.    

We know, we know — we've spent plenty of time talking smack about Five Guys' cheese choice. But look at this masterpiece. How could it not taste at least decent?

The general rule of thumb we've come to find about the cheese is this: the more meat you surround it with, the less offensive its flavor becomes. Perhaps that's because, when sandwiched between a nicely-grilled hot dog and absolutely incredible Five Guys bacon, the sweetness of Kraft American Cheese actually becomes a nice complimentary note. Kudos to Five Guys for having the wisdom to use the cheese to hold the hot dog and bacon together, instead of simply melting it against the bun and stacking the meats on top of it. The order of the layering affects the flavor, turning it into one cohesive unit rather than a few separate tastes.  

If you're going to go with any hot dog at Five Guys, just lean into this big boy. While it still doesn't outrank most of the menu, it's by far the best dog option. 

This may feel familiar. Just as the plain hot dog ranked last among its kind, the plain hamburger simply could not compete with its more dressed-up brethren. Don't get us wrong, the hamburger meat alone pulls it ahead in the ranking by a good bit. It's far superior to the hot dog or any plain veggie or cheese creation. But that said, even when we added pickles, lettuce, and tomato, there wasn't enough going on here to make the hamburger anything truly noteworthy.

Five Guys seems to be going with the at-home BBQ approach to their buns, meaning that they could easily be pulled from a grocery store bag and we likely wouldn't know the difference. They aren't overly seasoned or grilled in any unique way, and so when it comes to the plain entrees, there's just nothing to elevate the taste. 

The one aspect Five Guys burgers will always have in their favor, though, is the meat. The chain describes the double-patty as two "fresh, hand formed patties hot off the grill," and just by the way the meat pulls apart in your mouth, that much is clear. Even plain, the burger is an enjoyable if not entirely noteworthy experience. 

Maybe we haven't sampled enough BLTs to know, but one bite into this bad boy and it was clear: Five Guys knows how good their bacon is, and is willing to run with that truth. It's a BLT, after all, with a strong emphasis on the "B." It is basically just bacon on a bun, with a few slices of tomatoes sitting atop the crispy mound of bacon, though we recommend adding some pickles, too. The rendition that was served to us included just one measly piece of lettuce, more white than green, slicked up against a generous slab of mayonnaise. Really, all you were tasting was the bacon. 

This is by no means a crime. As previously observed, the Five Guys bacon might just be the best on the market. On their menu, the chain claims that each BLT has "six whole strips of American Smokehouse crispy bacon," and we believe them. If you're looking for something plain, the bacon meat edges out the burger. Go with the BLT. 

We recommend choosing the bacon over the burger, yes. But the real beauty of Five Guys is the fact that, actually, you don't have to choose. Their bacon burger truly is the best of both worlds, combining four slices of the legendary bacon with two of their handmade patties. 

As with any combo, the attention to detail on any one aspect of this burger may suffer as a result of there being more going on overall. For example, check out that less-than-crispy slice of bacon that made it atop our burger. Hardly up to the Five Guys standard. However, even a drawback like that feels small when you consider how small of a price it is to pay for the benefit of tasting Five Guys greatest meat options together. The only problem with this otherwise-epic masterpiece is an issue similar to the one we experienced with the veggie sandwich: there's a lot of meat, here, and not a lot of moisture to hold it all together.

We have now officially entered the "everything from this point on is worth trying" territory. Five Guys knows what it's doing and, from sixth place forward, there is really nothing major to complain about. 

Starting with this absolute wonder. The Oreo Cookie Pieces milkshake is exactly as advertised. At its core, it's a vanilla milkshake, just like all the milkshakes on the Five Guys menu are, with various add-ins. Some locations may also have other options, but they're either a bit boring (like vanilla or chocolate), or not available in enough locations to fairly rank them.

But this milkshake flavor is pretty widespread and indeed has bits of Oreo cookie sprinkled throughout, which sets it above plainer milkshakes on the menu. You can actually taste intact chunks of Oreo cream in any given sip, and while the cookie texture is harder to distinguish, its flavor dominates the shake. We ordered this milkshake topped with whipped cream and would advise against you doing the same. The real substance of this shake is so delicious that you won't want to waste time on a fairly generic and sweet tuft of whipped cream before getting to the real good stuff. 

The only reason this milkshake didn't rank higher is that, for some, it could be a serious sweetness overload. Plus, not everyone likes chunks in their shake (even if they are Oreo cream chunks). 

Buckle up for a bit of some grade-A hypocrisy, here. After all those paragraphs spent slamming Five Guys' choice of cheese, the cheeseburger somehow manages to place within the top five menu items at the joint. 

Here's the thing, though: as discovered with the bacon cheese dog, the Kraft American goo is actually pretty decent for what it is, especially when sandwiched between meats. And that's where Five Guys gets it exactly right. This is perhaps the only mainstream burger chain that's imaginative enough to dream up the easy yet groundbreaking concept of putting a cheeseburger's cheese between its patties. One bite of this all-star and you're left wondering why this isn't a layering industry standard. The cheese melts into the patties on either side and holds them together in a way that other, saucier options simply could not do. Not only does this make the burger more edible from a practical standpoint (you won't catch a Five Guys cheeseburger falling apart), but it also improves the flavor tenfold. 

Here it is, the mother of all Five Guys burgers. It's here to prove that more is more, especially when it comes to two kinds of fresh-tasting meat and oozy, well-placed cheese. Remember our qualm with the bacon burger? It was beyond delicious, between the crispy bacon and the hand-made burger patties, but the one thing it was missing was some moisture to hold it all together. Enter American cheese. 

This burger is an explosion of dynamic flavor, held together by the cheese we love to hate. While Five Guys often sticks to the classics (which they usually do pretty well!), we are a fan of the instances, like the bacon cheeseburger, in which they branch out and experiment a bit. If anything, this monstrous meaty gem is evidence that there is nothing better than doing the basics well — except, of course, when you do all of the basics well and then combine them. 

You know Five Guys is doing something very right when perhaps their most iconic menu item doesn't even come in the first place. If you haven't ever tried a Five Guys fry, drop what you're doing immediately and go grab a bag. This all-American delicacy, which comes in an overflowing soda cup, will spill out over the top of the cup and onto the floor of the brown paper bag every time. In fact, you know you've got fries from Five Guys when the bottom of the bag is completely discolored and practically drenched in peanut oil. 

Five Guys describes their fries as "hot, fresh, boardwalk style fries, made to order each and every time." They are cooked twice, which allows for that perfect crispy outside, soft inside dichotomy, while the overwhelming flavor profiles here are salt and peanut oil. They are as addictive as they are easy to eat and, considering the extra-large serving size of every Five Guys fry order, they can be a bit dangerous. If you're going to get one basic from Five Guys, start with the fries. 

This bad boy is not much to look at, to be sure. At first glance, it's merely tan-colored, with small specks of peanut butter barely visible. It's not much to think about, either, as a peanut butter milkshake is fairly standard. But wow, is this something to taste. 

There is more to this shake than meets the eye or the simple name. Five Guys' peanut butter milkshake has a vanilla base (as all of their shakes do), blended with natural, creamy peanut butter. If this all sounds fairly standard, that's because it is. But there's a secret ingredient here that packs a real flavor punch. In an essentially Five Guys move, channeling both simplicity and innovation, they blend honey into this masterpiece as well. The honey makes for an extra sweet, extra natural flavor that just peanut butter and vanilla together would not be able to achieve. As usual, Five Guys has mastered the obvious in a completely new way. 

We also are a bit taken with the fact that they even have a peanut butter milkshake on the menu, to begin with. Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, sure — but for a fast food joint to branch into more complex flavors for milkshakes? That alone is impressive. 

Here you have it: the absolute best item on the illustrious Five Guys menu. Their Cajun Style fries are the perfect combo of new and spicy, not to mention classically rendered. 

To construct these amazing fries, Five Guys starts with their regular, boardwalk-style method. They are freshly cut and cooked twice, and you can taste (and see) the peanut oil oozing off them. But for Five Guys, this is just the status quo. Where the Cajun fries really go above and beyond is with the spice. It is completely packed onto each and every fry — we're convinced they must dip each one individually into a vat of the incredibly flavorful seasoning. But while some may say that the caked-on spice is too much, we'd argue that it is just enough. Any less, and these would taste like a slightly upgraded classic fry. Any more, and you'd lose that incredible peanut oil under-layer. 

If you don't know where to start when ordering at Five Guys, start here. Apprehensive about the heat? You can always opt for their classic fries and get the seasoning on the side.