The Internet Is Losing It Over This Bizarre Egg 'Hack'

Are you a card-carrying member of the long egg club yet? If you aren't, this article is for you. If you are, read on. To be clear, this is not a new craze. Vice discovered it, horrified, in 2018, and described long eggs as a "yolk-filled PVC pipe." The eggs, long (duh), cylindrical, and perfectly round, feature impossibly centered yolks. They were, and still are, industrially produced, and if you have a strong stomach, you can watch them being made, on The Gram. Some Twitter fans swear that they can eat slices of long eggs "like Pringles" (via Twitter). And, of course, it wasn't long before someone thought it was a good idea to try to reproduce the egg dish at home.  

It took off. More people kept trying to make long eggs in their home kitchens. And then, more did. Most recently, Australian Cham Scott succeeded in creating the phenomenon with free-range eggs she bought at Aldi and inspired such controversy that she made the news. When Scott posted a picture of her questionable creation to a Facebook group, fellow group members screamed: "witchcraft" (via Kitchen Nine). Another asked: "Why does this make me so uncomfortable?"

In 2019, a futuristic tech magazine, Next Nature wrote, philosophically, that long eggs "statisf[y] our need for more." Perhaps that is where homemade long eggs belong: in the world of the future. Hopefully, someday, it will be easier to make them by hand. Because, as Kitchen Nine explains, the process to achieve a perfectly pipe-shaped boiled egg log is not simple ... at all. The Aussie who shocked Facebook by photographing hers first separated her yolks and her whites. Then, she poured her whites into a glass, and put that glass into a saucepan filled with water. Then, she put the lid on the saucepan. Then, she brought that water to a boil. Then (lid off), she used a straw to excavate the middle of the eggs. Then, she poured in the egg yolks. Finally, she continued to cook the eggs (saucepan lid, on). You get the idea. 

More mind-boggling still, Scott is not alone. A long egg Youtube tutorial posted in 2017 has over 4.4 million views. Some video viewers are even eager to take the phenomenon one step, further. "I only now realized that the fact that you can pour raw eggs gives you the artistic freedom to form them into almost any shape you want. So much potential," they wrote. For the record, someone on The Gram has mastered the art of the flower-shaped egg.