Rachael Ray's Husband Just Released His First Album With His New Band

Rachael Ray says she and her husband, John Cusimano, have been "wildly busy" during the pandemic, producing the Rachael Ray Show from home (via BuzzFeed). Cusimano, in fact, is the show's cameraman. Apparently, he's been even busier than that, secretly putting together an album with a new band called Fastest Land Animal. We say "secretly" because band members used false names when they put out two singles prior to the March 5 release of Fastest Land Animal's self-titled debut album. Cusimano was Screamin' Jack Novak, accompanied by "Alfonse Castillo" on guitar and bass, and "Shark Samuels" on drums. Both men, real names Jonny Blaze and Andrew Meskin, are also in Cusimano's more established band, The Cringe. Regarding the aliases, Cusimano told The Oakland Press, "It was just a crazy idea I had. I wanted to keep it different and separate from The Cringe."

Ray herself tweeted two simple words on the album's release date: "Secret's out." Now everyone knows that Fastest Land Animal is pretty much the same band that opened for Mötley Crüe's farewell tour six years ago — fronted by the handsome guy who mixes cocktails for Rachael Ray (via People).

John Cusimano told The Oakland Press Fastest Land Animal strives to be more punk-rock than The Cringe, but his new band isn't punk in the sense of smashing listeners' expectations. While Cusimano named the Ramones and the Buzzcocks as Fastest Land Animal's influences, much of the album, with its familiar, cleanly produced riffs, brings to mind Ratt or Dokken — at least for those familiar with 1980s heavy metal. Nor would Cusimano ever be associated with the punk aesthetic of playing like an amateur (via Aesthetics for Birds). Cusimano, in fact, is a highly accomplished musician. Rachel Ray says he can play 57 different instruments, which may or may not be an exaggeration (via Rachael Ray Show). (Some of us would have trouble naming 57 instruments, much less playing them).

The Cringe developed a fanbase opening for heavy-metal legends and even appearing a few times on the Rachael Ray Show (via Showbiz Cheat Sheet). These fans may be disappointed to learn that Cusimano is turning his musical attention to Fastest Land Animal. Or maybe they should give FLA's maybe-more-punk sound a chance. (OK, some tracks on the album, such as "Buried Alive," will remind you of the Ramones.) While Cusimano's new band can't take its show on the road quite yet, due to COVID-19, we wouldn't be surprised if Fastest Land Animal gets a television appearance soon ... on the Rachael Ray Show, of course.