Store-Bought Eggnog Ranked

No food or drink captures the spirit of the holidays quite like eggnog. You're almost guaranteed to be in a festive mood when you're enjoying a glass of eggnog. With or without alcohol added in, this drink can't help but put a smile on your face.

In the United States, eggnog is almost exclusively enjoyed during the holiday season. If you weigh all the eggnog Americans drink each year, the final count would be approximately 135 million pounds — and almost all of it is sold between Thanksgiving and the end of the year.

While eggnog seems like it's about as American as apple pie, most believe that it was actually invented in medieval Britain. These days, there are dozens of brands of eggnog on the market in the U.S. However, not every eggnog you can find at the store is tasty. Some of it is actually quite horrid. In this ranking, we'll separate the good eggnog from the bad — beginning with the worst of all.

When it comes to dairy products, Borden is a trustworthy brand. In fact, this company's history dates all the way back to 1856 to when Gail Borden invented condensed milk. However, don't let the brand of this eggnog fool you — it's utterly gross.

Whether you purchase it online or at your local grocery store, Borden Classic Eggnog never fails to taste like old milk that has a plastic aftertaste. Unless your idea of a good time involves licking plastic, do yourself a favor and stay far away from this liquified junk. You'll taste the plasticky taste on your first sip, and it will soon dominate your taste buds. Before you're finished with your first glass, you will be pouring it down the sink.

No amount of bourbon, rum, brandy, or whiskey added to this eggnog will be able to save the day. Unless you want to put a damper on your holiday fun, stay away from Borden Classic Eggnog.

If you see Silk Nog on the shelves of your neighborhood market, you may be tempted to purchase it. Silk Almond Milk is the best almond milk available anywhere, so their version of eggnog also has to be excellent, right? Wrong. Extremely wrong.

As you would expect from this company, Silk Nog is dairy-free. Instead of cow's milk, it's made with soy milk. In addition to lacking any dairy products, this eggnog is also made without any eggs. Unfortunately, it's also lacking much discernible flavor. It tastes like watery milk that has just the slightest amount of nutmeg added to the mix. Interestingly, there's actually rum listed in the ingredients. Sadly, you can't taste any of the rum at all. Rum flavoring would be a big improvement, but it must be such a slight amount that it's impossible to taste it.

Even if you're trying to be a health nut, skip Silk Nog. It's not anywhere close to as good as you might imagine.

If you're lactose intolerant and even the thought of drinking traditional eggnog gives you a stomachache, you might believe that Lactaid Eggnog is the answer to your prayers. This drink promises to be like traditional eggnog but without any lactose. Tragically, Lactaid Eggnog doesn't live up to that promise.

Rather than being eggnog without lactose, it tastes like eggnog without any milk or cream. The result is an eggy concoction that you will have difficulty swallowing. It tastes basically like egg yolks with some sugar added to it. Strangely, it doesn't have much enjoyable spice to it at all. Then again, there's no nutmeg or cinnamon listed in the ingredients, so that shouldn't be much of a surprise.

While Lactaid Eggnog might sound like a gift from above for those who are suffering from lactose intolerance, it's simply not good enough to justify purchasing it. Besides, there are better lactose-free eggnog options that you'll find higher in our ranking.

There are multiple reasons to just say no when it comes to Califia Farms AlmondMilk Holiday Nog. While this treat powered by almond milk and pure cane sugar is vegan-friendly, gluten-free, BPA-free, and carrageenan-free, you shouldn't add it to your shopping cart.

First of all, this eggnog is inconsistent. Sometimes, you will drink it and it will have a smooth consistency. However, at other times, Califia Farms AlmondMilk Holiday Nog will have unappetizing chunks in it. When that happens, all your holiday cheer will fly directly out of the nearest window.

While you may get lucky and get some of this eggnog without the disgusting chunks, it's still way too sweet. Even if you typically enjoy eggnog that is sweeter than average, the sweetness of this drink is so overpowering that you'll soon be struggling to continue sipping it. Although it's admirable that Califia Farms makes products with the planet's health in mind, turn your back to this eggnog.

While Whole Foods definitely has some great store brand choices on their shelves, their eggnog doesn't qualify for that list. If you buy a carton of this stuff, you'll soon feel regret and wish that you would have gone with a name brand.

The issue with Whole Foods 365 Traditional Egg Nog is that it's way too spicy. It's not too spicy like salsa that has a few too many jalapenos — it simply contains too much spice. The first overwhelming flavor that will hit your taste buds is nutmeg. It's way too strong and dominates the action. Beyond the nutmeg, you will also taste a strong amount of cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. All told, those four spices combine to steal the spotlight to an annoying degree.

If you've already purchased this drink and want to salvage it, adding milk or cream to it will diminish the extreme spiciness level and allow you to somewhat enjoy this eggnog.

Fireball Cinnamon Whisky has been one of the most popular drinks of the last decade. If that stuff is your drink of choice, you'll be excited to learn that Fireball Cinnamon Flavored Holiday Nog exists.

Is this eggnog worth purchasing? That's debatable. If you prefer your eggnog to taste more like cinnamon than nutmeg, then this is a decent enough option. As the name suggests, it has a heavy cinnamon flavor. A suitable comparison of the level of cinnamon to expect is somewhere between cinnamon-flavored gum and Hot Tamales candy.

However, before you buy this eggnog, take a long look at the label. Fireball Cinnamon Flavored Holiday Nog is a non-alcoholic drink. Even if you drink a gallon of it, you won't get tipsy. If you want that extra kick that only alcohol can provide, you're going to need to go to your personal stash and add in the Fireball Cinnamon Whisky — just as the label suggests.

When Lucerne Holiday Eggnog first enters your mouth, you will be impressed. This eggnog is thick — very impressively thick. Unfortunately, a few sips in, the thickness will become burdensome. While it's an enjoyable attribute at first, it will eventually become a chore to drink. Considering that you're likely drinking eggnog to help you relax and revel in the holiday spirit, you'll want no part of this chore.

That said, if you are someone who always adds alcohol to your eggnog, Lucerne Holiday Eggnog is a good choice. Even if you accidentally (or not so accidentally) add too much bourbon, whiskey, rum, or any other liquor, your drink will still be thick enough for you to thoroughly enjoy.

Additionally, Lucerne Holiday Eggnog has more than an average amount of spice, which is another reason why this eggnog works well when mixing in alcohol. The spice level is sufficient for you to always remember you're drinking eggnog — no matter how much liquor comes along for the ride.

Darigold makes a couple of different types of eggnog. The better one is called Darigold Old Fashioned Egg Nog. This version claims to be thick and rich — and that turns out to be a legitimate claim. This eggnog has the perfect amount of thickness. But although it's rich, it's lacking in the sweetness department. While the best eggnog isn't overly sweet, this drink arguably went too far in the other direction. Then again, if you don't own a sweet tooth, this might be your favorite eggnog of them all.

The version you don't want to buy is called Darigold Classic Egg Nog. It tastes the same as Darigold Old Fashioned Egg Nog but it is way too liquid-y. If you're using it for cooking or baking, it'd be an okay selection. Otherwise, the texture and the lack of thickness is too off-putting for you to enjoy. For that reason, make sure you know the difference between these two Darigold products before you head to the grocery store.

If you're throwing a holiday party or you have a large family with a lot of picky drinkers, Meadow Gold Egg Nog is a safe choice. It has a very good consistency, and the spices aren't too powerful or too mellow. If a person likes eggnog, there's nearly a 100 percent chance that they will like this drink. When you think of run-of-the-mill eggnog, this is the stuff you're thinking about. It's also easy to find, as it's one of the most popular eggnog brands in the United States.

If you are one of those people who can't get enough of pumpkin spice (even though celebrity chefs may disagree with your preference), don't hesitate to buy Meadow Gold Pumpkin Spice Egg Nog. It tastes just like their regular eggnog but with the perfect amount of pumpkin spice added in. Stock up on this stuff, and it might save you a few trips to Starbucks for their legendary Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Turkey Hill Premium Egg Nog is the first eggnog on this list that is well above average and undoubtedly worth its price tag. It's made with fresh milk and pure cream with the optimal amount of egg yolks, sugar, and nutmeg. From the color to the taste to the consistency, you won't be let down at all by this stuff. This eggnog says it's premium, and it definitely lives up to those expectations.

If you want your eggnog to be extra cold, Turkey Hill also makes an ice cream version of their egg nog. It tastes a lot like the liquid version but with a bit more rum flavoring. This ice cream packs so much flavor that you don't need to add any sort of topping. Simply grab a spoon and prepare to dig into a wondrous dessert. Eat it with some pumpkin pie, and you may very well experience holiday nirvana.

When you're thinking about getting your hands on yummy eggnog, the words "organic" and "low fat" may cause you to hesitate to purchase Horizon Organic Low Fat Egg Nog. Something that sounds this healthy can't possibly also taste good, right? Surprisingly, this treat is actually really, really good. You'll actually be stunned that there's anything healthy about this stuff.

Even though it only has three grams of fat per serving, this eggnog manages to be extremely creamy. It also has a very pleasant taste thanks to organic nutmeg, organic cane sugar, and organic egg yolks. You can also justify drinking an extra glass or two of this eggnog since each serving has six grams of protein and only has 140 calories.

Tip: Horizon Organic Low Fat Egg Nog is best when it's served when it's sufficiently chilled. If you want eggnog that is good no matter if it's cold or warm, look elsewhere.

If you want dairy-free eggnog that is also certified vegan, you won't find a better option than So Delicious Coconutmilk Holiday Nog. If you are lactose intolerant, forget about Lactaid Eggnog and buy this instead. This stuff is also superior to any eggnog on the market that is made with almond milk.

This drink relies on extra creamy coconut milk, cane sugar, and nutmeg — and the result is amazing. It tastes better than the vast majority of tradition eggnogs on the market even though it has no cow's milk and no egg yolks. Although it doesn't sound like that's possible, you'll be convinced after your first sip.

Compared to Horizon Organic Low Fat Egg Nog, this drink is even better for you. Each serving only has two grams of fat and just 90 calories. If you end up drinking the whole container without sharing with anyone, you won't have to feel too bad about what you've done.

There's a lot to love about Organic Valley Egg Nog. All the ingredients are organic from organic fair trade cane sugar to organic eggs and from organic fair trade nutmeg to organic milk. In addition to being dedicated to being organic, this eggnog is also free from antibiotics, dangerous pesticides, synthetic hormones, or any type of GMO. You can let kids drink this eggnog with the utmost of confidence.

Along with the scrumptious nutmeg in this eggnog, it also has a subtle yet unmistakable vanilla flavor added into the mix. Many consider vanilla to be the secret ingredient that should always be added to eggnog. Try this drink, and you too may become a believer.

Texture-wise, Organic Valley Egg Nog is perfect. It has a satisfying mouthfeel while having a great thickness to it. This eggnog also has enough sweetness to catch your attention but isn't so sweet that you're tired of it after your first glass.

Hood makes four kinds of eggnog. Hood Light Eggnog isn't good. It's too watery and is missing most of the flavor you crave when drinking eggnog. Even if it might be a little bit healthier for you, it's simply not worth it. Hood Vanilla Eggnog went overboard on the vanilla flavoring. While vanilla typically makes eggnog better, it shouldn't be the dominant flavor. Hood Pumpkin Eggnog is also a disappointment. The aforementioned Meadow Gold Pumpkin Spice Egg Nog is a much, much better option.

However, don't let those three misses distract you from the fact that Hood Golden Eggnog is outstanding. In fact, Hood should get rid of those other versions and just concentrate on this one. As the name suggests, this eggnog has a golden color that is a result of the extra egg yolks and the creamy milk that is used in their recipe. This treat looks like it will taste delicious, and your taste buds won't be disappointed once you take a sip.

Although Ronnybrook Egg Nog can be difficult to find and isn't exactly inexpensive when you do find it, the quality of this stuff is breathtaking. Even though it's made with simple ingredients like milk, cream, egg yolks, sugar, and nutmeg, you'll be convinced that there must be something magical inside each and every bottle.

Those familiar with the Ronnybrook brand shouldn't be surprised that their eggnog is spectacular. This company is known for their high-quality dairy products — so much so that the New York Times once called Ronnybrook the Dom Perignon of the entire dairy industry. If you fall in love with their eggnog, also consider their premium ice creams and their drinkable yogurts.

The only reason why Ronnybrook Egg Nog isn't in one of the top two spots in our ranking is the price tag. While this is amazing stuff, the bang for your buck isn't quite as great as our top two choices.

When it comes to value, Trader Joe's Egg Nog is off the charts. The price of this treat is friendly to your bank account, and the taste of it is euphoric for your taste buds. That's a winning combination that will have you visiting Trader Joe's every holiday season to get your jolly mittens on this stuff.

Trader Joe's also has a light version of their eggnog, but that shouldn't be considered. Their light eggnog tastes like milk with a little bit of nutmeg in it. That said, if you want eggnog made from almond milk, Trader Joe's Almond Nog is a great choice. While it's not better than the previously mentioned So Delicious Coconutmilk Holiday Nog, it's better than any other almond milk eggnog on the market.

Another eggnog related product at Trader Joe's that worth buying is the eggnog-flavored Greek yogurt. It sounds odd, but it tastes wonderful. Don't be surprised if this holiday snack becomes an annual tradition as well.

When only the cream of the crop will do and you refuse to settle for anything but the absolute best, Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice Egg Nog is the eggnog you should purchase with your hard-earned money. This drink is epic. If you've never tried it before, it'll change everything you thought you knew and understood about eggnog.

As you could guess, Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice Egg Nog has a phenomenal vanilla flavor to it. But beyond being spiced to perfection, this eggnog has a special blend of whiskey and fruit flavors that elevates it to a level that no other competitor can reach. Fruit flavor in eggnog may sound iffy, but it's glorious.

Be warned that Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice Egg Nog is so good that you'll be sad when the holiday season ends and it becomes impossible to find. This eggnog is definitely something everyone should be able to enjoy all year long.