Here's Why You Should Think Twice About Eating Dippin' Dots

You're not the first to have been seduced by the mesmerizing circa-1988 marketing of this chilled, spherical treat, loudly proclaiming itself to be "Ice cream of the future!" You may have stopped curiously by a Dippin' Dots stand at your local amusement park, only to notice they were closed, or even shelled out all your lunch money to actually try a cup of these absolute crimes against ice cream, a fate perhaps far worse. When it comes to Dippin' Dots, the reality has always fallen short of expectation, so none of this should come as a surprise.

For one, they just don't feel very good. For everyone who's almost cracked a tooth in their excitement for these novelty ice-chips, we're here for you. Frozen at an astounding 320 degrees below zero, these cryogenically preserved drops stick to your tongue before eventually melting (via Thrillist and Washington Post). Is this what you really want? Ice cream, but shaped like styrofoam pellets, so blisteringly cold they're crunchy? Part of the allure of ice cream is how smooth and creamy it is. You'll find neither quality in your cup of Dots.

For another, Dippin' Dots are even worse for your diet than regular ice cream. Just a two-thirds of a cup of their most popular Cookies 'n Cream flavor will put you back 210 calories and 10 grams of fat. Breyer's Original Cookies & Cream? 180 calories and eight grams of fat (although, it should be noted here, Breyer's can't legally call this flavor "ice cream" — this, and many of their other products, are a "frozen dairy dessert" according to The New York Times. What have we come to?) Same with Moose Tracks (via Eat This Not That!).

If that isn't enough, Dippin' Dots are expensive. A regular-sized cup at your local stand will cost you as much as $8.29, and if you want them shipped to your home? Forget it. You can only order 30 servings for a whopping $59.95 — and they are supposed to be eaten the same day they arrive, because regular freezers won't keep them cold enough to store (via Serious Eats). There's one thing that won't count against them, however. Inexplicably, Sean Spicer had some sort of weird vendetta against Dippin' Dots, which Dippin' Dots diplomatically resolved in 2017 (via Eater). Maybe Dippin' Dots isn't so bad after all.