Ranking McDonald's Ice Cream Items From Worst To Best (If The Machine Is Working)

It's always exciting heading to McDonald's for one of the restaurant's popular ice cream treats. Will the machine be working this time or will you have to settle for soda and an order of fries instead of the McFlurry you've been desperately craving all day? In situations like this, it's best to go in with your hopes somewhere in the middle so you can be either delightfully surprised if the soft serve is flowing or at least not entirely crushed if the "not in service" sign is hanging around the handle. Provided there is ice cream enough to go around, McDonald's offers some pretty popular selections in its ice cream collection, all of which are worth tasting at least once.

But if ice cream availability is a dice roll at Ronald's restaurant, you should have an idea of which McDonald's soft serve treats are premium picks. I sauntered into the McDonald's up the street from me to order as many cool items as possible and give you my opinion on which ones offer chills and thrills and which ones are more likely to leave you cold. Though there's no such thing as bad McDonald's ice cream, there are definitely better choices to be made, especially when having access to the frozen goods amounts to playing soft-serve roulette.

Let's be real: if you're ordering a hot caramel sundae at McDonald's so you can enjoy the soft serve, you're doing it for wrong reason. Proper living in the fast food lane means ordering one of these bad boys so you can scoop out the seemingly endless puddle of melted caramel at the bottom of the cup. It may be unfair to include this among other soft serve treats, considering the caramel sauce is the real star of the show. But they won't give you just a cupful of caramel, so a sundae will have to do.

Sadly, this sundae turned out to be a don't. What sort of sad imitation of caramel did my childhood palate accept in place of the real deal? Maybe the recipe has changed here, but this sundae didn't have the sauce, even though it was slathered in caramel-colored goo (no deposit at the bottom, either ... boo for progress). This practically flavorless glop might as well be just melted sugar and food coloring — and for all my taste buds know, that's exactly what it is. There are much better options on the menu, and much better memories of sundaes gone by that I'll be living on for the rest of my life.

In all honesty, I've never been a huge fan of an M&M McFlurry ... and come to think of it, I've never really liked M&Ms in ice cream at all. There's something about how frozen these little pellets get and how difficult it is to chew them without feeling like you might break a tooth. If that wasn't enough to contend with, they end up leaving a weird coating on the roof of your mouth that feels like you've been gnawing on refrigerated crayons. You could say I have strong feelings about this one.

And those feelings were promptly confirmed with a single bite of this McFlop. The mini-M&Ms are more accommodating to the cup, but their colored coatings melted into a slush puddle on top of the soft serve. I may not be a fan of the sprinkle that shouldn't be here, but the stingy toss-in was hardly enough to last two bites. From there on out, it was just a cup of ice cream, which gives Dairy Queen the firm advantage in the blitzed-and-blended iced treat arena. At least when those ice creamers add waxy candy to the mix, they make sure it's worked in through and through. McDonald's could take a lesson.

A classic combination in the world of cold desserts no matter where you buy it, the cookies and cream mashup of an Oreo McFlurry is a surefire refresher no matter what the weather is. Considering there are only two standard flavors in the whole McFlurry line-up, this creation must hold a sweet space in the hearts and minds of McDonald's fans who never turn their backs on the classics. Even if the new and improved McFlurry cups with a more sustainable persona arrive on the scene, the timeless Oreo McFlurry just keeps rolling with the punches, adapting to its new environment in a way that would make Charles Darwin blush with pride.

If only it could roll a little harder with the cookie quotient. There was hardly a dusting of Oreo crumbs — not crumbles, crumbs — in my cup. I was looking forward to half-cookies or quarter pieces at least, maybe even a stray flap of crème center that didn't hit the blender blades enough. No such luck. The meager toppings were a disappointment that inspired an audible groan. If I wanted a cup of ice cream with cookie dust sitting on top, I would have run my leftover Ben & Jerry's through my cookie jar. Instead, I paid for a cup of sadness topped with bits of discontent. It's not the grossest thing McDonald's has ever done, but you'd be wise to avoid my mistake and keep away from this error in dessert judgment.

The classic vanilla shake from McDonald's has always been an understated way to sip on something sweet without being pummeled by syrups or add-ins. This old-fashioned favorite gives Ronald's house a real old school street cred to go with its ultra-modern ordering kiosks. Sure, the word "vanilla" is usually used to describe bland and boring things, but it also means that those things aren't going to throw you for a loop when you least expect it. Chocolate and strawberry have standards to live up to, while vanilla is just doing its own reliable thing.

Sure enough, a vanilla McDonald's shake is a center point in the world of high-falutin flavors. Though there's nothing in the cup beyond vanilla froth and subdued joy, the quaint charm of a milkshake in its purest form shines through just enough to put this sweet treat near the center of the chart. It's never going to set the world on fire, but that's not what it's intended for. If anything, it's a great way to cool down on a hot day or warm up on a cold day, thanks to the gentle sweetness that doesn't pretend to be anything more than it is ... not like, say, the groan-worthy Grimace Shake that went over like a purple lead balloon. This one is a dependable delight that's sure to satisfy when your other options overwhelm.

The most straightforward of all of the McDonald's soft serve desserts, a vanilla cone can always be counted on to bring a smile to the faces of diners no matter what generation they fall into. Watching the ice cream slowly build up in a towering swirl until it comes to a peak is one of the most innocent joys in life. The fact that you can get a tiny mini cone that shrinks the experience down to an adorable scale only adds to the whimsical charm. I had a feeling I would be overwhelmed with waves of nostalgia when I bit into this one, remembering all the eager moments of waiting for the cones of my childhood to be set on the counter or shoved into my greedy little palm.

Be warned: If you order your cone at the drive-thru with a slew of other ice cream treats, it will come turned point-side down in a plastic cup. Even with the altered architecture, I could tell exactly what this long-loved confection is. It's a perfectly middle-of-the-road goodie that gives you soft serve in a cake cone — nothing more and nothing less (unless you count the cup). For its basic yet sturdy passable nature, it falls squarely in the center of my ranking. You can do worse things with your ice cream cash, for sure, but you can do so much better, too.

If you're looking for a sippable time machine of a McDonald's ice cream treat can sink a straw into a chocolate shake and you'll be instantly spirited back to a malt shop in the 1950s, even if you were born long after that decade passed. The idea that melted ice cream in a cup can inspire such a joyful reaction is a testament to the evocative power of well-used sugar — and yes, I'm on a bit of a sucrose high as I write this, which may account for the almost spiritual tone of my description. It's just another reason to appreciate that chocolate shakes have never really disappeared from the fast food landscape.

The lightly fudgy frothy was more artificially flavored than I remember, and though I was expecting a more Frosty-like experience based on the subdued hue shining through the cup, what I got was more of a freeze-out. The thickness was there, and the crown of whipped topping added a fun twist that was never possible in the old McDonald's world of shakes served in a regular drink cup. But it wouldn't hurt the bottom line to toss a little more cocoa in the blender here. I'd happily overlook a chocolate shake that left me shook in favor of more flavorful fare.

A classic combination in the world of cold desserts no matter where you buy it, the cookies-and-cream chocolate mashup of an Oreo McFlurry with a splash of vivid green mint syrup is a surefire refresher no matter the weather. Who could resist mushy mint-infused soft serve studded with crushed nuggets of everyone's favorite sandwich cookie? And it hits right around Girl Scout Cookie season, bringing Thin Mint bliss to a McDonald's audience on the lookout for the next new McFlurry flavor to make eyes pop and tongues wag.

This holiday-ready confection turned out to be a bit of a mixed bag, though a delicious one. With hardly any Oreo bits in the cup to speak of, the streaks of vibrant mint syrup had to do the heavy lifting here. Luckily, it rose to the occasion and infused the creamy vanilla cloud in the cup with just enough zesty goodness to be delicious without becoming toothpaste. It would be nice to have it permeate the cup rather than having to self-stir or risk scooping it all out in three bites. But even if those are the possible scenarios, it's still a crackling-sharp way to enjoy a soft-serve specific spin through the McDonald's drive-thru.

You might think of a McDonald's strawberry shake as the original pink drink, with its bubblegum hue drifting through the straw to deliver that artificial berry flavor charming enough to stand in for the real deal. It rounds out the nifty Neapolitan theme of the restaurant's shake selections nicely and anchors the menu without elbowing out the more maximal come-and-go goodies. While those concoctions might crave the limelight, this strawberry shake sits quietly and confidently on the marquee, assured of its drawing power, as well as its staying power.

It's not like I was expecting a streak of strawberry syrup or even real strawberries to be in the cup, not like when McDonald's had strawberry sundaes on the menu (and still do, among other McDonald's items available outside the U.S. Even so, the punchy berry pop that hit my tongue tasted similar to breakfast cereal, like someone had the brilliant idea of crushing up Cap'n Crunch Berries and whirling them around in the blender. It's bright without tasting too odd or artificial, and the gentle pink hue is more pastel than neon. While I wouldn't otherwise go for strawberry on an ice cream menu where other flavors are available, knowing what I know now makes a McDonald's strawberry shake a first-tier possibility on future visits.

Hot chocolate sundaes have been perennial McDonald ice cream favorites since they debuted in 1978. Watching the warm sauce solidify when it hits the icy soft serve is one of the most endearing food science moments a fast food fan can have. It's been quite a while since I dug a spoon into this arctic creation, though it used to be a regular occurrence back when the menu was simpler and the company's sweet treats were priced in the dollar range.

Though the fudge remains a topside treat that rests on the ice cream instead of below it, its gooey goodness still stirs up the excitement from those McMoments of long ago. The spoonful I gobbled down was chewy and sticky, the perfect counterpoint to the soft ice cream that helped thin it down. The ice cream had time to cool the sauce by the time I did my tasting, so it wasn't the full-blown hot fudge sundae experience I'm used to. But it's still one of the premier offerings in the McDonald's ice cream collection, and one I would gravitate to no matter what flashier items might be vying for my affection and my dessert money.

It's a seasonal treat that plays peekaboo with the holiday calendar, but when the Shamrock shake shows up at a McDonald's near you, it's an opportunity you can't pass up. Sure, mint and shamrock are two entirely different plants, but it's unlikely that a shamrock-flavored shake would draw an audience, much less inspire annual devotion, even if St. Patrick gets involved in the brouhaha. Much better to go with mint, which gave me some serious taste bud tingles. I've never had one of these bad boys, even being something of a mint chocolate monster for my whole life. I don't know how I missed out, but this taste test proved it was high time to remedy the situation.

Put this one high on your list of must-try ice cream treats under the golden arches, especially if you're as big a fan of minty magic as I am. Someone behind the counter must know the McDonald's secret of pulling the lever just at the perfect moment to release exactly the right amount of mint swirl to suit the occasion. It's cool and refreshing without being heavy-handed or showing off how minty it can be, which is ideal for anyone hoping to avoid a mouthwash-like rinse splashed into their milkshake. Too bad it's as mischievous as a leprechaun and only shows up to make St. Patrick's Day an enchanting era for enjoying ice cream. Not only does this top the ranking, it could make March Madness a year-long celebration.

Taste was obviously the primary driver for this ranking. Since most of these items are made from the same soft serve base, it was more a matter of comparing add-ins, toppings, and flavorings to determine which augmentations do the dessert a service and which don't. I ordered from the current menu, which included the Shamrock Shake and Shamrock Oreo McFlurry, to capture everything available at the moment and broaden the spectrum. I limited my tasting to a single bite per item to keep from coloring my opinion by overexposure. I didn't realize how hard it was to keep from chugging a McDonald's milkshake or going for broke with a hot fudge sundae until I decided not to do it. Talk about a challenge.

Having experience with almost every item on the McDonald's ice cream menu, I did my best to give them all a fair shake (pun intended). But there was no working around my memories of these treats, since they were once the be-all end-all of fast food desserts. That worked in my favor; the comparison allowed me to reexamine what I might have written off as a second-rate player and give them another shot while revisiting old favorites to see if they were as good as I remember.