11 Holiday Cookies No One Wants To See On The Dessert Table

To say the holiday season is a busy time of year is a major understatement. Your weekends in December are probably already stacked with holiday parties and events — none of which you can go to empty handed. Cookies are the ideal thing to take to a holiday party, company event, or Christmas dinner. They're easy to make or buy, and pretty low stakes, but even so, you don't want to bring an item that people don't want to eat. Unless you want to never be asked to bring a dessert item again (which could be a win, I guess), you'll need to know which cookies are totally out for the holiday season.

Whether you're breaking out the rolling pin and spice rack this holiday season or turning to your local grocery store to fulfill your cookie needs, there are some cookies you should steer clear of. Though they may be considered classics, there are still plenty of long-standing Christmas cookies that should be laid to rest. From overly sweet treats to tasteless traditions, these holiday cookies are some of the worst and may risk being untouched on the dessert table should you bring them.

Some people just want to watch the world burn, and placing these tasteless sugar bombs on the holiday dessert table is the sweetest way to do so. The only people who reach for the frosting topped blocks of flour that are Lofthouse cookies are children itching for their next sugar fix. The resulting onslaught of icing fueled mayhem may be fun to watch, but the cleanup is something else entirely. Watch as all the adults look on in horror as frosting faced fiends tear through not only their presents, but half of Aunt Linda's meticulously placed Hobby Lobby decor as well.

Okay, so a Lofthouse cookie isn't actually going to be the downfall of Christmas dinner. However, these cookies are deceptively awful and will ruin the night of anyone who puts them in their mouth. The combination of ultra rich topping and crumbly flour cookie base is too much for a lot of people and proves to be a divisive mix. People on Reddit agree, and there doesn't appear to be a conclusive decision on whether these cookies taste horrible or are too good. These conflicting feelings are a 2 a.m. dilemma — not at all appropriate for holidays with the in-laws or swarms of cousins twice removed.

Looking for a happier alternative to these cookies? Bake some simple sugar cookies instead (it's not that hard with our easy cut out sugar cookie recipe) and slap some icing on those bad boys.

I love these commercial Christmas tradition cookies as much as the next guy, but they should be set aside for a last minute Santa offering or holiday movie night. Where they don't belong is the holiday dessert table, next to the homemade angel food cake and the coveted peanut butter blossoms. Bringing Pillsbury Christmas Tree Cookies to Christmas dinner is a frat boy move, and you'd be better off just bringing a case of beer.

If you had planned to bring these easy bake holiday cookies to your family gathering, at least spiff them up a bit. Some bakers are getting creative and placing the premade cookie cutouts on top of chocolate chip cookie dough to create a hybrid cookie. At least this way you are bringing something unique and homemade adjacent to the party.

These cookies are also becoming unreliable. The newest and most annoying holiday fad is for all the big box stores to sell out of all their holiday stock two months before the big day. These Christmas cookies were hitting the refrigerated shelves back in October, so good luck finding them now. The only thing more impressive than finding these cookies in stores in December? Someone having the foresight to leave them uneaten in the fridge long enough to bake for a holiday gathering. If you're willing to plan that much in advance, it's just plain weird you'd completely opt out of baking up some quality cookies.

That pain in your chest isn't from the massive amount of holiday ham you shoveled down at dinner. No, it's the stab of an oatmeal raisin cookie disguised as chocolate chip, straight to the heart. Nearly no one feels joy at the sight of an oatmeal cookie on the dessert bar. Instead, it's disappointment that graces the faces of dessert lovers when they look upon the sad cookie flavor. This dismay is only amplified if no one had the foresight to bake chocolate chip cookies for the table. If oatmeal raisin is sitting pretty on the dessert table as the only option for cookie lovers, the people could rightfully riot. Grandma is likely the only one who would even think to reach for the deceiving sweets, and she probably already has some in her purse.

When you're measuring out your flour and sugar to bake holiday cookies, do everyone a favor and throw those raisins straight in the trash. Or, do the decent thing and put them in a chex mix so people can pick them out. Another option is to just make oatmeal cookies, because they actually hit just right. No one wants to be forced to choose between no cookies and cookies with raisins. Another way to solve this chocolate chip/oatmeal raisin divide is to create a half and half cookie, but at that point why not just go all in on the chocolate chips?

I have a couple bones to pick with thumbprint cookies. First, who wants to eat cookies that have been completely manhandled by thumbs? I get that bakers have all their fingies all up in their creations, but I don't want to be blatantly reminded about it in the name and shape of the thing I'm putting in my mouth. This is especially true if you come to Christmas dinner with inch long, reindeer acrylics. It's just not sanitary –– though, using a measuring spoon is a good thumbprint cookie hack to avoid this.

Second, these cookies simply do not play well with others. Despite the fact that the thumb crater is meant to act as a reservoir for the filling, the jam ends up spilling over onto other cookies every single time. If you don't like thumbprint cookies and someone brings them to the dessert table, then you're out of luck because every other variation of cookie will be contaminated by the thumbprint by the time you're ready for dessert. Forget about putting these cookies in a to-go box or cookie sampler tin, because everything will have an off putting jam residue. These cookies lack proper boundaries, and in the 21st century that's just plain unforgivable.

An interesting alternative to these cookies is the jam sandwich  or jam shortbread cookie. They're adorable, incorporate the same taste profile, and the fact that the jam is more contained with these cookies likely leads to less cross-contamination.

You know how everyone loves to hate fruitcake? Well, Florentine cookies are their less lovable distant cousin who gets invited to the party out of obligation. I can understand the novelty of slicing a piece of fruitcake around the holidays. However, I am thoroughly convinced that anyone gnawing on a Florentine cookie is an actual serial killer who comes out to holiday parties just to keep up appearances. These paper thin cookies can hardly be called such, as they are more orange and almond than they are cookie. Only someone pretending to love dessert would opt for these over literally any of the other sweet treats on the table.

It does not help matters that Florentine cookies are hardly ever made correctly. Either over cooked or made too thickly, you never really know what you're going to get with homemade Florentines. These cookies are supposed to be a complex combination of complimenting flavors with a slightly chewy texture. However, they usually turn out to be a crunchy mess that resembles more of a burnt, sugar infused granola bar. Florentines just aren't worth the letdown, or the risk of looking like a psychopath (maybe just to me, though).

If you can make it within ten feet of a snowball cookie and not get powdered sugar on your ugly Christmas sweater, then you should confidently buy a lottery ticket. These things are like the white powdered donut –– there's no sneaking one without leaving evidence all over your person.

No one really knows the origin of the snowball cookie, and these cookies seem to be called something different by each family. If you bring them to a work holiday party, be prepared for fights to break out over the title of everyone's grandma's favorite cookie. Whether they're called snowball cookies, Russian tea cakes, Mexican wedding cakes, Sandies, or even Poofer Snoofles, they don't deserve a place at the holiday table. They're crumbly, dry, and make a huge mess. Inhaling around these will result in you coughing up a lung, which just isn't worth the awful texture.

Instead of the cookie with many names, try bringing the similar, but much elevated almond crescent cookie. Also called Viennese crescent cookies, these nutty cookies have a chewier texture with a bit less mess. They're also coated in powdered sugar, sure, but their somewhat stickier texture makes for a less dusty handling. They're an all-around more respectable cookie and could fill a void on the dessert table that the snowball cookie just doesn't quite fit.

How anyone can find molasses to be a pleasant thing to work with, I don't know. The stuff is as thick as, well, molasses. If you were to present me with a bowl of molasses and a bowl of tar, I don't think I would be able to tell you the difference. I do know that I would not want to make cookies with either of the substances. For some reason, though, molasses cookies are a thing.

I do not envy the person bold enough to bake these bittersweet cookies. Baking with molasses makes for a sticky, smelly time. A lot of people find the smell of molasses repulsive, while others are fine with the overpowering bittersweetness. Considering molasses can taste different depending on the type used, these differing opinions make a lot of sense. The inconsistency is another reason to forego this cookie. If you are the host of a holiday party, you should take this into account if you're planning to bake these cookies. While the smell of chocolate chip cookies gives off an inviting and homey vibe, molasses cookies could have the opposite reaction to your guests.

Molasses is what makes brown sugar brown and moist, so maybe opt for a cookie recipe with this more subtle ingredient at the forefront. Snickerdoodle cookies are a safe, scrumptious bet.

Listen, people hardly tolerate gingerbread cookies this time of year outside of children's crafting time. Ginger snaps take a backseat to those cute little cookie men and women this time of year, and making space for both gingerbread and ginger snaps on a dessert table is just overkill.

Ginger, in general, is a flavor that not everyone enjoys. As far as gingerbread goes, it's the novelty and association with the holidays that has a lot of people going feral for the flavor. I'll make a gingerbread army for the fun of it, but wouldn't take even the smallest nibble from any of their appendages. Ginger snaps are essentially gingerbread, but 10 times worse. The spiced cookies are cooked longer, come out harder, and have none of the novelty of gingerbread. Who really wants a crunchier gingerbread without any of the fun shapes or sweet icing?

Neither of these ginger treats are ideal for the dessert table at a nice holiday party, but you could replace them with speculaas. These german sweets are kind of like a cinnamon flavored biscuit that resembles a more artisan version of a gingerbread. Respectable and festive, they would bring a bit of lesser known culture to a more mature party.

Meringue cookies are like the Regina Georges of the cookie world. They think they're too hot to sit with the other cookies, but really all the other cookies at the table are nicer on the inside and way more approachable. A meringue cookie looks structured and solid on the outside, but crumbles or dissolves to nearly nothing once you pop it in your mouth. As simple as their ingredients are, meringue cookies take a little practice to be able to nail. As such, these light, gluten-free beauties are more fun to make than they are to eat.

I'm begging you to bring macarons instead of these substance-less cookies. While meringue cookies can come in different flavors and variations, changing from the traditional white kind of takes away from the grace of the cookie. Flavoring a meringue cookie turns it into a novelty. Macarons, on the other hand, have that crispy outside with the chewy middle that meringue cookies can achieve, but also leave so much more room for creativity and fun. Macarons can take on any flavor you can dream, and even mix and match flavors with their cream middle. Putting macarons on a dessert table transforms an event, while meringue cookies give off a posh, standoffish vibe.

Spritz cookies have been around for hundreds of years and have gone in and out of style seemingly dozens of times. Every generation probably has had their fair share of these cookies, and though they've been passed down countless times the recipes don't seem to improve much. Spritz cookies may form perfectly in the oven and hold their shape well on a plate, but they crumble with the lightest touch and have very little texture. They don't taste great either, which makes their picture perfect appearance pretty much worthless.

I know you are trying to put that ancient cookie press to good use, but it's time to pack it in on these tasteless, crumbly cookies. If you've been making these cookies for decades, I promise you've gotten your money's worth. Instead, break out those cookie cutters that I know are taking up a ton of storage space in your pantry or baker's cabinet. Ironically, cookie cutter sugar cookies will have more of a personal and unique touch than the overdone Spritz cookie, and they'll taste better, too. Add sprinkles and decorations as desired. Decorated roll out sugar cookies are the one amateur cookie that is acceptable no matter how sloppy they look.

If you're thinking of bringing candy cane cookies or peppermint bark cookies to the party, I promise there are better alternatives. I get that peppermint comes with the season, but please just bring some peppermint bark or actual candy canes. We don't need subpar spins on the classics. Let's leave candy canes to their own businesses this year, like hanging on the tree or gracing carefully hung stockings.

Candy cane cookies are a cute project for the young bakers in your life. Unless you're heading to grandma's house and they're acting as the youngster's contribution, though, you should keep those babies at home. They're the perfect Christmas activity, but not well suited for the dessert table where diners should be offered food that has been prepared with sanitation in mind.

Peppermint bark and the other bark variations that rear their heads during the holidays are some of the best holiday treats around. To make the iconic snacking chocolate into a cookie is to spoil it, I believe. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, as they would say, and leave this traditional holiday flavor to its own devices.