These Were The 9 Worst Dishes We Tried At Olive Garden

Olive Garden has a long-held reputation for serving pallid versions of Italian classics that just don't rise to the occasion. Not every dish fits this description, but there are questionable menu items that the nouveau Old World chain is often derided for not living up to tradition, especially when compared against more thoughtful Italian restaurants. Whether it's mass production that reduces the quality in hopes of providing a standard experience in every Olive Garden location or just the idea of aiming these creations at the mid-level Italian food lover, the lower standard is long-lasting and far-reaching.

I've had the misfortune of digging into many of Olive Garden's second- and third-rate offerings, sometimes to the compromise of my physical well-being. My experiences with the chain have largely been as part of a special occasion or family celebration, where the oversized party required a more affordable option. But what you can afford financially and what you can afford to take chances with when it comes to eating subpar Italian food are two different things entirely. These Olive Garden selections are my strict "never again" selections, should I ever find myself sitting at the white-clothed table again, which will happen against my will if it happens at all, but hey — we all make sacrifices for the sake of friends and family. Dining at Olive Garden just happens to be my contribution ... but I'm not going anywhere near these dishes from now on, no matter whose birthday it is.

How can an Italian kitchen compromise such a simple creation as eggplant parmigiana? If the kitchen is in an Olive Garden, it can compromise it in egregious ways. The simplicity of sliced aubergine dredged in flour and breading and tossed in the fryer should be a slam dunk for any proficient restaurant. Drop it on a plate, lay a slice of fresh Parmesan on top, and give it a marinara bath — easy-peasy. Slap a side of pasta on the dish to give it a tasty partner and call it dinner. What could possibly go wrong?

Pretty much everything. I was expecting an al dente texture to the eggplant under the crispy, but instead I got mush encased in a shell closer to sandpaper than proper breading. It was too difficult to chew at first, then too easy to chew, then just gross to chew. I soldiered on and finished my order, but it turned out my order wasn't finished with me. A few hours later, I felt the eggplant rebel in my gut. My stomach seized for the rest of the evening in a most unpleasant manner. I swore off of eggplant parmigiana served at any establishment after that, but especially at Olive Garden, where subtlety isn't part of the recipe.

There's a template for a proper fettuccine Alfredo that shouldn't be compromised: al dente pasta tossed with a sturdy yet refined cream sauce heartily flavored with Parmesan and butter. If performed properly, this bit of culinary conjury results in the most elegant version of mac and cheese the dining world has ever known. But if a heavy hand stirs the pot, the creation that comes about is a study in heaviness and gourmet aggression that seems so eager to impress, the chef forgets their objective. What ends up on the plate is a gut bomb that can't be defused once it moves from fork to stomach. If only there was a way to warn the unsuspecting Olive Garden customer what they're getting themselves into.

The aroma of the dish is a real teaser, with a bit of black pepper tossed in to spice up the situation. The cling factor of the sauce is a charmer too, making me think I was in for a good time. But the mouthfeel turned out to be so unappealing, the tempting flavor that should have been phenomenal turned out to be a greasy mess that sat heavily in my stomach. Is there too much butter and not enough cream, or too much cream and not enough butter? No matter the formulation, it's a tongue-coater that disrupted my plans for a white-sauce pasta dish that was supposed to seem more sophisticated than the usual marinara. I'm still heartbroken over the discovery.

Back in the day, which in this case means the mid-2000s, Olive Garden offered lighter fare for the more health-minded eater, an audience the company was losing out on with all the carbs and calories in its menu made for sheer delight. One such offering was capellini pomodoro, a promising platter of skinny spaghetti topped with juicy diced tomatoes sprinkled with fresh (or fresh-adjacent) herbs. It was one of the more nutritious Olive Garden dishes that let nutrition-conscious customers get in on the good stuff without wandering too far astray from their daily allowances. It looked beautiful on the menu, and it even dazzled when it arrived at the table when I ordered it. That was before I found out how flavorless healthy Italian dining could be.

It doesn't appear to be part of the current lineup, which I can only assume means it wasn't a terribly popular option for others, either. While it's nice to know I wasn't alone in my disappointment, I can't help but think if Olive Garden food designers had been open to a little constructive criticism, they could have come up with something that worked. Zest things up with roasted garlic, maybe, or bring in onions and thyme to lend a little sophistication to a simple dish. Maybe if it ever makes a comeback, it will have the right concentration of peppy flavors to give meat-free diners something special they can call their own. And if it never returns, that's fine too.

If you're looking to punish your stomach as part of your good times at Olive Garden, few selections will get the job done as thoroughly as the Tour of Italy. This sampler platter pretends to be a cheap Olive Garden dish providing small takes on three popular options for one lower price. What no one tells you is that these reduced-size versions are just as overblown and hard to digest as their larger counterparts. Considering the plate holds lasagna, chicken parmigiana, and fettuccine Alfredo, it's clear that even small portions of these heavy hitters can wreak havoc on a perfectly good digestive system.

I was foolish enough to believe I could skirt the fact that these items are among the unhealthiest Olive Garden dishes issue by taking the Tour myself. Just a bite of each should be enough to satisfy my craving for all the Italian food I could ever want, I reasoned. But the only thing more disappointing than having these three classics done wrong as stand-alone dishes is taking them on as a team and losing big-time. After two bites of each, I remembered how little I like Olive Garden's take on Italian food in general. Taking the leftovers home was one of those teachable moments. I love my taste buds and my stomach too much to put them through that kind of nonsense ever again.

One of the most delightful dishes to come from the Mediterranean is the authentically delicious chicken parmigiana. When done well, you receive a tender cutlet cooked to juicy perfection wrapped in a delicate sheath of breading that's been lightly fried to add crispness. Marinara and Parmigiano-Reggiano add flavorful magic for a signature recipe that calls to mind villas and olive groves in every bite. But the way Olive Garden serves its chicken parmigiana, you'd think there was no template for the recipe to follow, just a poke-it-and-see approach that churns out a chunk of chicken that would've been better off staying in the fridge.

How does a standard like chicken parmigiana go so far afield in an Olive Garden fryer? The possibility of getting a bad batch is dismissed by the fact that I've had it more than once and experienced the same textural issues. Maybe the kitchen could use upgraded appliances or a new standard for cooking the chicken. If I were an avid poultry eater, I could circle around to a new location and give it another shot. But having scraped the skin from the roof of my mouth a few times has made enough physical and emotional scars to keep me swearing off chicken parmigiana at Olive Garden no matter how my eating habits may change.

One the simplest of Italian dishes, spaghetti topped with marinara seems like a pretty difficult project to mess up. If your fast-casual model can't boil up what might be the world's most common pasta form and use it as a nest for a basic blend of tomatoes and seasonings, maybe Italian cuisine isn't your thing. Of all the Olive Garden sauces, I would've thought marinara to be the sure shot, the one that couldn't go off-course no matter how careless the chain-wide formula was. What an unexpected discovery to learn that even the most foundational recipes in the Italian cookbook can be turned upside-down if you're trying to please too many people at the same time.

We all know what a comfort scooping up a giant plate of spaghetti can be, especially when it comes from a tried-and-true recipe and prepared with heart and soul. Formulating a creation this pure in the manner of a chain like Olive Garden seems to have stripped all the humanity out of the creation. It's a guarantee that you've tasted better at other restaurants, and more than certain you've had a far superior iteration as a home-cooked dinner. I have too, which is why I can taste the difference immediately. Olive Garden may purport to be a family restaurant, but the spaghetti with marinara is no more than a distant cousin that didn't understand the assignment.

Ah, minestrone; that light-yet-spicy tomato-based broth riddled with beans and veggies. When made well, it's the perfect complement to a slice of rustic garlic bread — or in the case of Olive Garden, a basket of famously delicious breadsticks and a never-ending serving bowl filled with zesty salad. Ordering a bowl always seemed like a safe move to me, though it took me a while to warm up to the idea of soup serving as a satisfying centerpiece for a restaurant meal. Having experienced everything from homemade minestrone to the blue-labeled can that Progresso slings on grocery store shelves, I thought I knew what I was in for when I tried it for the first time. It ended up being the last time, too.

Was it the overzealous spicing that burned my throat long after the surface heat had subsided or the watery broth that needed a little more body to be substantial? Maybe the ratio of beans-to-veggies was off enough to set my Italian dining senses wobbling. The best I can say about Olive Garden minestrone is that if you dip your breadsticks into it, they're a little easier to chew. But standing on its own as a soup, it's far from super and a dish I don't mind advising future diners to step around if possible. The Zuppa Toscana is more likely to be a favorable spoonful instead, if the copycat recipes that abound on the web are any indication.

Yes, I know: If fettuccine Alfredo was an Olive Garden failure, what would make me think strips of grilled chicken thrown onto the plate could save the flavor? Most likely, it was a momentary lapse of wariness, a slip of the appetite that led me to forget how unappealing my previous moments with the sauce were. Sometimes, you get caught up in the occasion and smell a passing tray that sparks your hunger in a direction you thought you'd closed off with a flashing barricade and caution tape. So, I made the mistake of trying Olive Garden chicken Alfredo, and let me tell you, it was exactly the wrong move you can probably see coming from a mile away as you read this. I only wish I'd had my wits about me when it happened.

The term "rubbery chicken" is best reserved for birthday party magicians and unimaginative stand-up comics. But once I sliced into my Olive Garden chicken Alfredo, I realized it could be used to describe this paltry poultry too. Maybe the extra heat from the pasta and sauce caused the chicken on my plate to overcook. Whatever the cause, it was one of those "how do I dispose of this miserable bite without being gross?" moments where I wished I would have gone with a different order.

How many layers of disappointment can you pack into one Olive Garden dish? The possibilities seem almost endless when the item in question is Lasagna Classico. Every component is present here: wide pasta, gooey cheeses, ground beef, and rustic sauce. The formula is on the whiteboard for what should be a sure shot of phenomenal eating, and yet when it crosses the barrier from fork to tongue, something savagely distasteful occurs. This is one of those instances where the math isn't mathing, to quote the internet.

There's a finesse required for making a truly balanced lasagna, one where the noodles aren't floppy, the ricotta isn't mushy, and the sauce isn't too spicy or too bland. The cheese on top should bubble and brown without turning into leather, and the edge pieces should be crispy without being dry. It's a delicate dance for a chef with only one dish to manage, let alone a selection among all the others being juggled on a busy evening in an Olive Garden prep station. But when you pay close to $20 for what should be a slice of heaven, you expect to hear angels sing when you take a bite. All I heard was my stomach saying, "This isn't making either one of us happy." I'm not one to leave food on a plate, so I finished the whole thing. But it was my confirmation that lasagna is a dish best enjoyed somewhere other than Olive Garden.

Clearly, there's a lot to dislike about Olive Garden dining. It seems the restaurant can't get the balance right where its sauces are concerned. They're either too heavy or too pale, too spicy or too bland. The texture of the meat is often overcooked, especially when breading is present and the item requires time in the fryer. And the heavy ingredients stacked one atop another may show off the rustic side of Italian food, but too much of a good thing can be too much. Olive Garden lays it on thick and doesn't seem to realize the value in applying a lighter touch. All of these missteps add up to a laundry list of items that I wish I'd never ordered.

No doubt, this roundup has made me sound like a chain restaurant complainer. It's not as if every item on the Olive Garden menu is worth skipping. I'm sure I've had several perfectly fine orders in my years of eating there ... but none of them come to mind at the moment. And no offense to anyone who loves Olive Garden for exactly what it tries to be, which is affordable Italian food that's readily available pretty much everywhere in the U.S. I think by being exposed to home cooked Italian meals with authentically fantastic flavor, I've been spoiled to how great this cuisine can be, which means more often than not, Olive Garden just hasn't measured up.