22 Marie Callender's Pies, Ranked Worst To Best

If you've had a super stressful day -– whether it be a nagging boss demanding an obnoxious amount of work from you or a gaggle of screaming children who won't stop throwing tantrums –- there are three little letters that swoop in to ensure everything is okay: "P," "I," and "E." A slice of pie allows all the concerns of the day to wash right off your shoulders as you plunge that forkful of sugary goodness into your mouth. And one company that definitely has its finger on the pulse when it comes to pies is Marie Callender's.

Marie Callender's serves up a boatload of different pies. And while there aren't nearly as many restaurants around as there used to be, the pies there are still well worth the trip, whether you order just one slice or a whole pie to take home. This rich, hearty dessert will check off all the right boxes when it comes to relishing in something sweet. But just because the company has a slew of options doesn't mean every single one is worth your time. Pay close attention to these rankings the next time the urge to get your pie on strikes hard. Your sweet tooth will thank you in spades.

Cream cheese is a very versatile ingredient that's used for far more than just a smear on a morning bagel. It's used in plenty of dips to add a rich creaminess, and you can even toss it in scrambled eggs for a fluffy, silky texture. But, Marie Callender's doesn't mess around with the dips or the eggs. Instead the company offers a cream cheese pie, and let's just say you'll prefer the ingredient on your bagel. The texture of the cream cheese on this pie is off-putting. It's crumbly, which makes for an odd mouthfeel, and the sour cream topping doesn't quite pair right with the cream cheese center. When added into the graham cracker crust, these two flavors seem to be trying to replicate a classic cheesecake. But don't be mistaken. In the pie, the cream cheese and sour cream topping go to war in your mouth, and the result is a pie you'll wish you never tried.

You normally think of eggs as a breakfast item, but not when it comes to custard. Custards use eggs and mix them with some type of dairy, like cheese, cream, or sweetened milk, and possibly other flavorings to create a velvety dessert. Marie Callender's offers customers a custard pie for those who love that hint of egg in their post-dinner treats, but unfortunately, this pie misses the mark. The custard itself is super silky, but it's nowhere near as sweet as you want it to be. Every bite lets down your sweet tooth, which clings on to the vanilla and nutmeg that are also in the pie for limited satisfaction.

It's hard not to crave a slice of warm cherry pie every time the classic 1990 song by the band Warrant starts playing — especially when that pie is filled with full-sized plump cherries that explode in your mouth when you bite down on them. Sadly, that's not really the case with this cherry pie. Marie Callender's uses tart red cherries to imbue the pie with flavor, but in the end, the cherries just don't pack nearly as much of a juicy, tart sensation as you'd think. And, even though the photo online makes it look like the pie is overflowing with the fruit, there aren't nearly as many of them in this pie either.

During the spookiest time of the year, pumpkins start popping up everywhere you look. But they're not just for decorating. Sure, a beautifully crafted jack-o-lantern is wonderful, but a thick slice of fresh pumpkin pie is even better. The pumpkin pie from Marie Callender's, however, doesn't trump the aesthetics of a jack-o-lantern. The texture is creamy, which is exactly what you would expect, but when it comes to actual pumpkin flavor, it falls short. The spices used in the pie make an attempt to wow the palate, but it feels like there just isn't enough of it to keep you going back for another bite.

Putting lemon and cream cheese together in a pie sounds like it should be a one-two punch of great flavor. The tanginess of the lemon cuts through the richness of the cream cheese, which in turn mellows out the citrus kick. But that citrus kick isn't very prevalent here with Marie Callender's lemon cream cheese pie. You definitely get an abundance of the cream cheese consistency, which is rather bland, but the lemon flavor never makes the appearance that you want it to. This could be a slam dunk pie if the cream cheese were more flavorful and lemon balanced everything out better.

When you hear the word "satin," you almost physically feel warm and comfortable inside. The word has a way of creating a soft, silky image in your mind that courses through you. So you'd expect a pie that was chocolate satin flavor to taste like something you want a sleeping bag made out of. But not here, sadly. This pie from Marie Callender's consists of a chocolate filling surrounded by a chocolate cookie crust, but neither of the flavors or textures gives you that warm-your-soul feeling you might expect. The crust is too crumbly and tastes like cheap chocolate, and the pie filling doesn't make up for it with its mellow chocolate taste.

When a warm apple pie arrives at the dinner table after a savory meal is finished, everyone gets excited to dive in — especially when there are huge chunks of crisp apple slices glistening underneath the flaky top crust. When it comes to the apple pie here at Marie Callender's, however, you are looking for the apple slices to be bigger, not diced small like what you end up getting here. The flavor isn't bad; you definitely taste the sweet tartness of the apples, but you never end up getting that mouthful of flavor that erupts like a volcano. There's also a bit of cinnamon spice imbued throughout the pie that could taste stronger.

Every time you take a bite of whatever food you're eating, you want your palate razzled and dazzled. Why would you settle for anything less than an epic burst of flavor in your mouth? So you'd expect a razzleberry pie to do exactly that. However, this particular razzling from Marie Callender's might not be enough. Three fruits combine forces in this pie: raspberries, blackberries, and apples. This flavor should be a force to be reckoned with, but it just falls short of an epic three-punch blast of fruity tastes. The apple is barely present, and the tartness of the other two never manages to dance across your mouth like it should.

"Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches," sings the music group The Presidents of the United States of America. That 1995 song certainly puts the incredibly juicy fruit at the forefront of the minds of whoever hears it. Peaches are known for that soft, extra-juicy texture, and that's exactly what makes peach pie such an amazing dessert. The peach pie that Marie Callender's offers does contain a ton of thick peach slices underneath the crust, but that explosion of sweet peach flavor isn't as prevalent when you bite into it. The warmth of the fruit is nice, but overall your sweet tooth ends up feeling a bit disappointed.

A creamy, silky texture always plays so well on the palate. It's like a gentle hug for your tongue. It's also a hug that packs a rich sweetness to it. The double cream lemon pie at Marie Callender's doubles down on that silky smooth creaminess and offers up the citrusy tang of lemon to help cut through a potentially overwhelming rush of the fluffy stuff. The lemon flavor here is bright and flavorful, but some people might find the double cream aspect a bit much. It can overshadow the lemon custard to feel as though you're just eating lemon-flavored cream.

Similar to the apple pie, the French apple pie offered at Marie Callender's has smaller apple chunks aren't as thick and juicy as one might want. Sure, the flavor is there, but the mouthfeel could be better. However, with the French apple pie, the company puts a cinnamon streusel topping on the crust, and that definitely elevates things to a tastier level. The topping is crumbly, which works well against the thick glaze the apples are baked in. The cinnamon flavor here is also more pronounced, which means you get hit with both the sweetness of the apples and the cinnamon spice, and that spells success.

When you buy the double cream blueberry pie, you naturally expect a punch of flavor from the blueberries. However, Marie Callender's throws a tasty curveball your way and also includes some apples to enhance the flavors. These two fruits pair nicely when combined with the thick layer of vanilla custard and sour cream that rests on top. Keep in mind there's a hefty amount of custard in this, but it never overpowers the burst of fruit flavor underneath. There are enough blueberries to keep the taste rolling in your mouth long after you take that last bite.

If you have room left in your belly after a big dinner, cheesecake is one of the best desserts to finish off your meal. It's rich and heavy, so it'll fill in whatever gaps you have left over in the most delectable way possible. The New York-style cheesecake here does its job of coating your mouth with a thick layer of sweet cream cheese, and even though it's not necessarily better than a lot of other cheesecakes, it performs its task with ease. Plus, you can choose a fruit topping to add, and that means you get a sweet addition that helps cut through some of the richness while giving your palate a hit of fruity flavor. No complaints there.

When chocolate fanatics start to get that craving for the good stuff, the last thing they want is to bite into something that just doesn't scratch that chocolate itch they so badly developed. Well, this chocolate cream pie from Marie Callender's will definitely scratch that itch. It's not an overwhelming amount of chocolate flavor (even though that's what some people prefer), but it's enough to put a smile on that sweet tooth. The chocolate is blended with vanilla custard, which at first might deter a choco-phile. But, all the vanilla custard really does is add to the texture to make for a super-silky chocolate bite. The whipped cream or meringue on top are subtle enough to lend a bit of vanilla taste without ever taking away from the star of the show.

Rhubarb is an ingredient you don't see very often when dessert hits the table. The flavor can be off-putting to many due to its extremely tart taste, which is why you need to exercise caution when using it. However, in terms of this pie from Marie Callender's, the execution is great. There's a ton of rhubarb flavor, but it's totally mellowed out, so you don't get that lip-puckering sensation after each bite. It's tart enough to tingle in the mouth, but there's a ton of sweetness that balances the flavors out nicely. You may be feeling skeptical about rhubarb, but don't run from this rhubarb pie.

Coffee is often served at the end of a meal. It can help you perk back up if dinner is starting to put you into coma mode, and it can be a nice accompaniment with whatever dessert is served. Well, if you love both dessert and coffee, the Kahlúa cream cheese pie is a great option that combines both. The pie itself is super-silky thanks to the cream cheese, and the flavor of mocha with a hint of caramel flows throughout the whole thing. The texture is lighter than you might think, considering cream cheese is used, and the chocolate cookie crust adds an extra kick of cocoa flavor that makes for a great way to end your meal.

Bananas alone have a real creamy texture, so putting them in a pie full of vanilla cream and meringue leads to a wonderfully fluffy mouthfeel. Fresh chunks of banana are layered on the bottom of the pie crust and then topped with a thick layer of silky vanilla cream and meringue in this Marie Callender's pie. The vanilla complements the banana very nicely and never steals the spotlight. The most noticeable aspect of this pie is the sliced almonds scattered on top. They give every bite a great nutty crunch to accompany the rich creaminess. This is a sweet and lightly crunchy pie that's sure to get everyone excited.

Even if you don't like pecans on their own, pecan pie is a totally different experience. This seasonal pie from Marie Callender's is always ready to dazzle your palate with its flavors. The pie is loaded to the brim with beautifully caramelized pecans and a ton of buttery taste. It's super rich and filling, but the sweetness is never overpowering. Sometimes sugar can get in the way of a good time, but not here. The pecans on top lend a great crunch, and the filling is packed full of dark and silky sweetness that'll have you immediately coming back for a second slice.

You might look at limes as a fairly unassuming citrus fruit. But when it comes to the Key lime pie from Marie Callender's, the lime rises up and declares its dominance throughout the pie landscape. Each slice of dessert carries with it a blast of amazing lime flavor that's never too tart and just the right amount of sweet. The texture is super velvety and feels wonderful on the tongue, and when you put that silkiness alongside the graham cracker crust, you get a contrast of textures and tastes that has you falling deeply in love with those citrusy green spheres.

Lemon meringue pie is one of the most iconic pies out there — and for good reason. The blast of that citrus lemon tang with the fluffy-as-a-cloud meringue balanced on top is a one-two smack of sweet and tart that leaves you grateful that dessert exists. This lemon meringue pie from Marie Callender's can hang with the best of them. The lemon flavor is wonderfully tart without ever feeling overwhelming, and the meringue is so light that it dissolves in your mouth and adds a fluffiness to help offset the dense lemon texture. This is a must–buy pie for anyone who loves lemon flavor or wants to impress guests at their dinner party.

"Delicious" is certainly one word that describes this German chocolate pie, but "intense" is also another one that fits appropriately in the best way possible. This dessert from Marie Callender's consists of a dense layer of chocolate cream with bits of coconut and chopped pecans that run rampant throughout it. The pecans give a great nuttiness as well as a lovely textural crunch to offset the exquisite creaminess, and the coconut helps brighten up all the flavors. Top this bad boy off with either whipped cream or meringue for an epic chocolate pie that'll have people drooling all over themselves.

This coconut cream pie from Marie Callender's will knock your socks off so hard that you won't find them until next week. Coconut and a dense, siky vanilla cream make up the filling, and all throughout are bits of shaved coconut for an even more intensely sweet, milky flavor that hits all the right notes on your palate. Even though the pie physically feels dense, it becomes light in your mouth, and you can't help but keep shoveling in bites. The whipped cream on top makes everything even creamier, and you're left wishing you bought a second pie when it's finished.